


If I only had All of You.

by Dolavine



Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-24
Updated: 2012-06-24
Packaged: 2017-11-08 11:10:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/442573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolavine/pseuds/Dolavine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared has almost everything he could ever hope for, a job he loves, great friends and family, and a marriage to his best friend since he was a freshman in college. The only thing lacking in his life is to be the only man his husband desires. But due to a pact made almost ten years earlier it’s the only thing he feels he has no right to want.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Title:** If I only had All of You.  
 **Author:** Dolavine  
 **Rating:** NC-17 for sex and graphic images.  
 **Word Count:** 40,220  
 **Pairings:** Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, brief mentions of Jensen/Matt Cohen  
 **Warnings:** Hurt!Jared, Cheating!Jensen Top!Jensen, Bottom!Jared  
 **Disclaimer:** I don’t own the boys. This is just a work of fiction to appease my own inner voices.  
 **Summary:** Jared has almost everything he could ever hope for, a job he loves, great friends and family, and a marriage to his best friend since he was a freshman in college. The only thing lacking in his life is to be the only man his husband desires. But due to a pact made almost ten years earlier it’s the only thing he feels he has no right to want.  
 **Art Prompt:** [ Imogen_lily's art](http://imogen-lily.livejournal.com/75878.html)  
 **PDF:**[AO3]()  
 **A/N:** Thank you to all of the mods at [](http://spn-illuminated.livejournal.com/profile)[**spn_illuminated**](http://spn-illuminated.livejournal.com/) for another great round and the opportunity to climb out of my box and write a fic of such magnitude. To [](http://imogen-lily.livejournal.com/profile)[**imogen_lily**](http://imogen-lily.livejournal.com/) for the amazing art prompt and numerous ideas that had me writing something longer than I ever thought I could. To my betas [](http://memoonster.livejournal.com/profile)[**memoonster**](http://memoonster.livejournal.com/) and [](http://deansgirl369.livejournal.com/profile)[**deansgirl369**](http://deansgirl369.livejournal.com/). Thank you both so much for taking the time to make this fic readable.

Jared is balancing a notebook on his knees as he sits cross-legged on Jensen’s dorm room floor. “Are you sure you want me to read this to you out loud?” he asks Jensen before starting.

“Absolutely, just let me pour another bottle of wine so I am sufficiently drunk enough to undergo the hour long reading while you wax poetic about your literature class in essay form,” he takes a long swallow of wine from the bottle before refilling Jared’s glass too.

“Seriously Ackles, I do not wax poetic, I simply enjoy the finer parts of the more flowery literary works,” he takes a drink of his wine before clearing his throat and trying to focus his blurry vision on the scribbled words. “Some bonds are forged for life and some are but a fleeting moment in time.”

“Wait a minute there Padalecki,” Jensen puts his hand on the page to cover the words. “You’re starting this thing off with a line like that?”

Jared sways a little, he’s feeling the wine’s effects, and cocks his head to the side. “Most certainly, it is about the passion of the written word,” he moves Jensen’s hand from the page but doesn’t let it go.

“Whoa, are you sure you weren’t eating those mushrooms that your roommate Chad has stored under his mattress when you wrote that line?” he squeezes Jared’s fingers and lets his gaze linger a little longer as the corners of his lips turn up in a mischievous grin.

Jared lets out a long loose lipped exhale with a tiny chuckle at the end. “Mushrooms, that boy doesn’t share his shrooms with anyone and I resent the fact that you would accuse **me** of such a thing,” he finishes off his glass of wine. “You know I totally loved Jane Eyre and read Elizabeth Barrett Browning poetry, they are my passionate inspiration.”

“Case in point,” Jensen laughs as he takes another long swig from the almost completely empty wine bottle.

Losing his balance Jared falls backwards onto the floor laughing, he pulls Jensen on top of himself in the process, and they meet eye to eye, an awkward feeling floods Jared’s belly. “I’m not sure if it’s the wine or not but I have the most uncontrollable urge to kiss you right now,” he blurts out.

“Uncontrollable urges should never be announced,” Jensen replies as he leans in expectantly for the kiss.

He thinks about it for an instant and with breathless words he tries to rationalize why they shouldn’t. “But…” he tilts his head upward. “Maybe…” his lips brush Jensen’s. “Oh hell,” he crashes into Jensen’s waiting mouth with the full intensity of a passionate kiss.

Returning every sloppy wet tongue swipe, every breath stealing dip of Jared’s tongue, and adding a few soft nips to Jared’s lower lip Jensen allows Jared to ravage his willing mouth.

They’re lost in each others wine drenched kisses as Jared stretches out under Jensen’s lean body, his hips moving hastily against Jensen’s groin. Their hard cocks are rubbing through stiff denim. Jensen is panting and moaning into Jared’s mouth. “Mmm yeah,” he groans.

“Oh fuck,” Jared mutters as he tilts his head back, his body covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Jensen’s mouth is on his neck kissing at that sweet spot along his collarbone and suddenly he shutters uncontrollably as his orgasm rips through him, he lets out a loud groan and presses hard into Jensen, his hands gripping him tight, holding him as close as a second skin.

“Oh my God Jared,” Jensen gushes as he feels the wetness seep out from under the waistband of Jared’s jeans. “Holy fuck,” he mumbles as he continues to grind into the wetness beneath him, it’s only moments later and he’s sharing in the sweet release of his own orgasm.

Panting Jensen rolls off of Jared and starts to giggle slightly. “I guess I share in your passion of flowery literature too,” he turns toward Jared who is lying there slightly orgasm dazed and euphoric.

Jared looks over at Jensen and runs his hand over the wet spot on his jeans as he adjusts his crotch. “It grows on you, ya know,” Jared reaches across and touches Jensen’s cheek tenderly.

Jensen smiles and turns his head to kiss Jared’s fingers gently. This is the very second that Jared Tristan Padalecki falls madly and deeply in love with his best friend Jensen Ross Ackles. It is a memory that will forever be burned into his mind.

The next morning Jared is completely hung over, he never handles wine very well. He sees Jensen coming out of his room as he rushes past heading for class. “Hey,” he says taking a second to stop.

“Hey,” Jensen says as he locks his door. “Heading to class?” he asks cheerfully.

“Yeah, but I’m late due to my wonderful hangover,” he rubs his temples.

“Aspirin and tomato juice, always works for me,” he hoists his book bag over his shoulder as they start to walk to the stairwell.

“Yeah, well, if someone hadn’t fed me so much wine last night,” Jared nudges Jensen with his shoulder.

“Hey, you needed to forget about old what’s his name and the fact that he’s a cheating asshole,” he puts his hand on Jared’s shoulder and squeezes. “It worked didn’t it?”

Jared smiles, he thinks about what Jensen felt like on his body, how nobody ever felt like that in his arms before and he’s sure never will again. “Yeah,” he pretends to relent. “But other things helped too,” he’s being coy.

“Oh, I am sure they did,” Jensen says cockily, his eyes shifting into a territorial squint and his mouth turns up into his patented smirk.

When they reach the outside they part ways as Jared has to go to the other end of campus. Jared wants to give him a kiss good-bye but hesitates when Jensen just pats his shoulder and heads off in the other direction.

“Catch you later tonight buddy,” he says walking away from Jared.

Studying isn’t Jared’s favorite pastime so when his roommate Chad barges in with his band of waste of space friends and the bong is pulled out of Chad’s closet, it is his excuse to make a hasty exit.

He heads straight up the hall to Jensen’s room. He never knocks just lets himself in but when he opens the door he’s greeted with the sight of Jensen half naked and making out on the floor with another guy. Jared stares for a bit, watches the erotic display unnoticed before stepping back and quietly closing the door again.

He’s not surprised, Jensen is a fan favorite on campus, it’s not like he’s ever had trouble finding a one night stand. Jared’s rational mind knows this but it doesn’t stop his irrational mind from hoping that last night might have been the start of something new for them.

He wanders off to think things over and before he knows it, he ends up at his friend Genevieve’s dorm room.  
She answers her door in just a skimpy tank top, boy shorts, her usual bouncy personality and huge toothy smile that usually cheer Jared right up.

“Jared,” she says surprised to see him.

“Hey, are you expecting someone else?” he leans on the door jam, his sullen expression trying to tell his emotional story.

“Oh, no, just hanging out studying is all,” she grabs the oversized shirt off of the back of the door and puts it on. “Something wrong sweetie,” she observes Jared’s body language and frowns. “Come on in baby,” she takes his arm and leads him inside.

They flop down on her bed. She sympathetically takes his hands, puts them on her lap and holds them.

“Tell Genny all about it,” her big brown eyes are sincere and sympathetic to whatever is bothering Jared.

He sighs and looks down at their clasped hands. “Where should I start?”

“Maybe starting with Professor Roche is a cheating asshole might be a good place,” she squeezes his hands ever tighter offering a comforting solidarity.

“Huh, what, wait, no,” he shakes his head in confusion. “This has nothing to do with Sebastian, its Jensen and the fact that we made out last night.”

“But, I thought you were having a secret affair with Professor Roche, not Jensen,” she is very confused. “Or am I that out of loop these days?”

Jared laughs. “I wouldn’t call one very awkward kiss in his office a secret affair. Besides there was never anything else, he’s a douche, I don’t do douche bags, you know that. When are you ever going to start listening to me when I call you with my personal gossip?”

“Oh, well then, what’s the dish on Jensen?” she rolls her eyes.

He rubs his hand over his face in frustration and grunts. “Argh,” he stands up and walks over to the window and looks across the dark campus. “I think I love him.”

She couldn’t look more surprised if he had just dropped a bowling ball on her head. “You love Jensen “the dawg” Ackles?” She chuckles like it’s a joke.

Jared looks back at her with a scowl. “It’s not that funny.”

“Yes it is sweetie. Jensen is a playboy, he’s slept with almost every guy on campus that fancies dick and you think he’s going to what, give it all up for you because you made out?” She puts her hand on his shoulder as she looks up into his watery hazel eyes.

“He could,” he blinks twice as he thinks about what she just said.

“But will he,” she makes her eyes wide and gives him her best, mother knows best expression.

Jared’s eyes fall towards the floor as he relents to her question. “He didn’t,” his shoulders drop as he exhales softly and puts an arm around her shoulder to pull her in tight for a hug.

“Didn’t, as in you saw him with another guy today?”

 

“He doesn’t know I saw him but yes, he was making out with him on his dorm room floor. I went up to see him after Chad and his wasteoid friends got out the mega bong,” he rolls his eyes.

“Oh, the mega bong,” she smiles dreamily before clearing her throat. “So what, his door was open?”

“No, I always just let myself in and when I opened the door there he was, shirt off and writhing on another guy, right where we got off last night,” he flops down on the bed stretching out with his arm over his face.

“No doubt his favorite sex spot,” she says sarcastically as she lays down next to him and puts her head on his chest.

Jared groans again. “I don’t want to think about being one of his boy toys.”

“Look, you two are friends and whatever happened shouldn’t get between you, just consider it friends with benefits and go with it.”

Jared thinks about it for a second. “Yeah, friends with benefits, you think Jensen would think of it that way too?”

“Probably, he doesn’t usually seem to get too attached to his boys but you were friends first, so it’s a definite benefit to him.”

“I doubt if many of his guys have the same connection we do, I think I’d like being his friend with lots of benefits,” he smiles and pulls Genevieve closer. “Thanks Gen, you’re so wise about these things,” he kisses her forehead and squeezes her tight.

She smiles and snuggles in tighter. “Always glad to help. Now spill on the details of your make out session,” she giggles.

“How dare you, I never kiss and tell,” he mocks shock.

“Oh pooh, you know I live vicariously through your gay sex.” They both laugh.

 

It’s Saturday morning, Jared is heading to the shower room when he sees Jensen making his way down the hall. He’s disheveled and sleepy looking.

“Hard night,” Jared asks in passing.

“You could say that,” Jensen’s words are a bit slurred. “Hey haven’t seen you since Thursday, what’s up,” he leans on the wall, his sleepy eyes are heavy as his head slumps off to the side, held up only by the wall.

“Ah, had things to do,” he’s trying to sound nonchalant but he’s been kind of avoiding Jensen, seeing if he’ll come looking for him.

“Noticed you weren’t in your room last night, Chad said you went out. Couldn’t blame you the room smelt like pot and ass,” Jensen chuckles.

“Yeah Chad had his buddies over Thursday night, I crashed at Gen’s since I only had one class yesterday and then we went to a movie last night.”

“Cool. I wanted to hang out but since you were MIA went out with the boys, you can see how that turned out,” he smirks with that devious smile.

“Glad you had a good time,” he has to admit he’s a little bit jealous but the fact that Jensen said he wanted to hang out but only chose to go out with the boys as his second choice kind of makes him feel special.

“Would have been better with you,” Jensen winks a half hearted flirtatious wink, his exhausted expression hindering any sexy undertones.

“I think you better go get some sleep.”

Jensen yawns as he slumps heavier into the wall. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Come on sleepyhead,” Jared hoists him up and helps him to his room. He helps him to undress and when he gets his jeans off, Jensen is commando. “Do you always go commando?” he asks embarrassedly yet he can’t help but check out the goods.

“Those damned bastards,” his words are slurred.

“What?” Jared’s helping him into bed.

“They kept my underwear. They just better wait, I’ll get my revenge,” he says pulling the covers to his neck and snuggling into his pillow.

“How did they get your underwear?” he asks with curiosity even though he has some ideas shooting through his brain.

Jensen just mumbles something before letting out a half snort half snore sound. Jared just tucks him in and is kissing his salty flavored sweaty forehead when Jensen stirs. “Make sure you lock the door,” he mutters. “See you tonight,” he finishes with the sleepiest voice Jared’s ever heard. He puts a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on his beside table before leaving.

 

It’s three days until Jared sees Jensen again. Finals have him a wreck and he has three papers due by the end of the week. He’s furiously typing away on his laptop when it suddenly goes blue screen and stops. Instant panic freezes his brain, when he gains control of his senses again he freaks out. “Stupid fucking piece of crap,” he pulls the flash drive from the USB port before unsuccessfully trying to restart the computer. “Damn fucking piece of shit,” he yells again as he tries with great frustration to reset and restart yet again but all he gets is a systems error message. Exasperated and panicked he throws it on the bed and rushes up the hall to Jensen’s room.

He bursts through the door without thinking; he’s sweating and breathing hard. “Jen, are you busy?” he yells with panic in his voice.

Jensen looks up from his laptop with a confused and annoyed look, “Umm, trying to finish my thesis so I can hand it in tomorrow or I don’t graduate.”

Gaining some control of his panic Jared does a quick assessment of the situation noticing that Jensen is busily working on something on his computer, he has a pencil tucked behind his ear and a notebook beside him on the floor. “Oh, I’m sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt you,” he starts to leave again.

“Wait, what do you need Jared?” Jensen asks with curiosity.

“My piece of crap laptop crashed again just as I was finishing my term paper and I thought if you weren’t using yours but you are and yours is so much more important than mine so I’ll just maybe head over and see if I can get a computer at the lab.”

Jensen looks at the black words on the white screen and up at Jared’s bewildered face then back down at the backlit screen again. He bites the inside of his mouth as he wrestles with his need to finish his paper or helping Jared out with his bind. “I’ll tell you what Jay, let me take a look at your laptop and if I can’t get it restarted for you we’ll take a walk over to the lab to see if they have a computer you can use and if not, we’ll see what we can work out.”

Jared flashes a wide smile. “Alright,” he runs down to his room and returns within seconds with his laptop in hand.

Jensen plugs it in to the wall in case the battery went dead like last time. “It’s not the battery Jen, I got a systems error message, I charged it all night so the battery is 100%.”

“Better safe than sorry Jay, now just let me do my thing,” he gives Jared a quick stern glance. “You do want me to get it working again right?”

“Yes,” he sits down on the floor next to Jensen.

Jensen gets it to boot up, he runs a virus scan and it finds a lot of viruses. “Here’s your problem, you are loaded with viruses,” he scans the history. “Holy Shit Jay,” he starts to laugh.

“What,” Jared leans over Jensen’s shoulder to see what he’s looking at.

“You need to find safer porn sites, all of your viruses are linked to Hotguyscum.com free porn site,” he starts to laugh.

Jared instantly blushes. “Damned Chad,” he mumbles trying to look innocent.

“I’ll clean this up for you but this isn’t the best site for you to be looking at,” he’s smirking.

“It wasn’t me, honest,” he’s lying because he doesn’t want Jensen to know he is a borderline porn addict.

“It’s okay, I’ll just send you some links I have to sites that are safe and you can drool over the same hot guys as I do,” he’s still smirking as he finishing removing the viruses and links from Jared’s computer.

“But..” he starts to continue the lie and then decides if Jensen looks at porn with all of the sex he gets, then he can’t be doing anything wrong. “Yeah, well it was the only site with mini movie clips of the cum scenes,” he’s still blushing because actually it was the only one with a porn star that looked a lot like Jensen but he’ll never admit that out loud.

“Yeah well I have some sites with entire movies on them for free and they’re pretty smoking hot, lots of cum shots,” he finishes and resets everything. “There you go, all clean now and I’ll send you an email list of the safe porn links. You are back in business,” Jensen hands it back to Jared.

“Thanks, you are a godsend,” he gives Jensen a big hug and kisses him on the cheek.

“Oh Gorsh, t’aint nuttin,” he pretends he’s being shy but he can’t fake the slight blush that rises in his cheeks from Jared’s lips on his skin.

“Well, better get cracking on this paper, it’s due tomorrow,” he stops at the door and turns around with a super wide grin. “I owe you big time,” he gives Jensen a wink before he walks out the door.

“Don’t think I won’t collect,” Jensen whispers under his breath as he watches Jared walk away.

 

Jensen hasn’t finished all of his classes yet but it’s just a few weeks until he officially graduates so Jared and a few friends decide to throw him a graduation party.

Jared assembles everyone on the rooftop of the dorm; they set up the beach umbrella’s and bamboo mats, lounge chairs, tables with chips and finger foods, the keg and put bottles of tequila and grapefruit juice in huge plastic tubs full of chipped ice.

They’ve strung a canopy of Christmas lights crisscross over the rooftop for after dark. Jared plugs them in to the emergency outlet in the stairwell, the multicolored lights flicker to life and Jared smiles. He knows that this is the only thing Jensen has admitted to finding romantic in what he calls a chick flick movie; while they were watching She’s All That on TNT one Saturday afternoon.

Jensen’s friend Steve has offered to be the DJ and since he plays a decent guitar he even offered to do a little live musical performance for the shindig. Jared accepts his offer since he’s already spent far too much on everything.

He’s pretty sure his credit card is close to being maxed out and he is going to have a lot of explaining to do to his father on summer break while working extra hours at the family business to pay it off.

Rushing quietly to his dorm room Jared quickly throws a can of hot Rotel tomatoes in a bowl with a block of Velveeta cheese and sets the microwave to 5min. He looks out into the hall to make sure Jensen isn’t investigating the sound of his microwave; he knows Jensen loves to mooch his free food and the microwave is his dinner bell. When the timer goes off there is no sign of Jensen so Jared quickly absconds with the bowl of hot cheese dip and rushes to the rooftop with it.

Everything is ready; the only thing missing is the man of the hour Mr. Jensen Ackles.

Standing in Jensen’s doorway Jared clears his throat. “Ahem,” he’s staring intently at Jensen who is concentrating on something on his laptop.

He removes the pen tucked between his lips and looks up at Jared with wide eyes. “Something you want Jay?” he smirks.

“Just a little of your time and company,” Jared steps into the room farther and stands beside Jensen and looks at the laptop screen.

“My company huh,” Jensen closes the computer and stands up. He runs his hand over the thin shoulder seam of Jared’s t-shirt, his thumb making purposeful brushes against Jared’s neck. “And what might you want to do with my,” he clears his throat, “company?”

Jared’s cheeks are flushed, his heart is racing and he wants nothing more than to shut the door and let Jensen ravish him but then his rational brain kicks in and he remembers the party on the roof. “Come with me up to the rooftop,” he says playfully as he takes Jensen’s hand and leads him out of the room.

“Jared I have too much to get done,” Jensen protests. “I thought you wanted a quickie and then I could get back to work,” he tugs Jared back inside his room. “Let’s just have a quickie,” he smiles broad and toothy, there is a mischievous twinkle in his green eyes. “You know you want to,” he coaxes.

There is nothing he would like better than to just let himself give in to Jensen, but he can’t, not this time anyway. “Come up to the roof with me, I have beer on ice and lawn chairs with umbrellas ready for us. You need a break,” he looks hopeful, his lower lip caught between his teeth as he gives Jensen puppy dog eyes.

“Oh shit, I can’t resist those puppy dog eyes or a cold beer, lead the way.”

Jared smiles from ear to ear. “You are not going to regret this,” he’s excited to see Jensen’s face when they finally get to the roof top.

“If there is beer involved, I am sure I won’t,” he chuckles as he follows Jared up the stairwell.

Opening the door the sunlight blinds them for a few seconds and then Jensen’s eyes adjust to the brightness and he sees multicolored umbrellas, lawn chairs and bamboo mats, tray tables and a long table with food and drinks on it. He also sees lots of people standing around smiling at him before he hears the loud booming cheer. “ **SURPRISE!!** ”

He looks around very surprised and bewildered. “Jared what’s going on?” he’s stunned and then he feels a hand on his arm.

“Come on Jen, join the party. It’s your graduation party,” Jared says leading him through the people shaking his hand and fawning over him, to one of the brightly colored tubs filled with ice and alcoholic drinks.

“So this is what you had planned and I thought you wanted sex,” he’s getting used to the people milling around him. “Looks like you invited the entire floor up.”

“No, just a few friends but then they invited people and it sort of turned into this whole thing you see here,” he fans his arms out and looks around. “I wanted intimate, just you me and about six friends but they had other ideas.”

“Its’ cool Jay, the more the merrier,” he says popping the cap off of a beer and taking a long swallow. “Now what kind of food do we have, I’m starving.”

The day seemed to pass them all by and as the sun set Jared slipped inside and plugged in the canopy of lights they’d strung up. The bright multicolored lights twinkle in the fading sunlight and glow bright and beautiful like the afterglow of dusk.

Jensen walks over and puts his arm around Jared’s waist. “So, are the lights your idea?” he asks quietly.

“Maybe,” he smiles timidly and bites the inside of his cheek.

“I never should have told you about She’s All That,” Jensen says as he smacks Jared’s ass before walking away. Jared smiles bright, a gleam in his eye and he’s totally glad that he took the time to hang the lights.

Everyone’s pretty drunk, the tequila is making its way into navels for body shots and Jared has to reel in one freshman who decides streaking is the answer to a good party. Steve’s band is sounding tight tonight and bodies are moving and grinding to the funky beats. Jared looks over and sees Jensen grinding on one of Jared’s friends and he feels the green eyed monster of jealousy creeping up but he reigns in the control and takes a deep breath. _We’re just friends with benefits and that’s all_ he tells himself before impetuously grabbing the closest hot guy to dance with and throwing his chaperoning duties to the wind.

Its almost midnight and thankfully the police have not been called for a disturbance of the peace but Jared’s been keeping the music at a normal level and he’s not letting things get too far out of control, besides all of the guests are basically in the same building so it’s not like the entire campus is running around drunk. People are leaving and the last few guests are mingling and lounging. Steve’s band is packing things up to leave too so the only music is what is being played on an old stereo that someone brought up about an hour ago.

Jensen sits next to Jared on a folding chair and nurses a beer. He’s pretty drunk but still coherent enough to hold a decent conversation. “Need any help cleaning this mess up?” he asks.

“I’m good, Gen is going to stay and help, she actually just took a bag of trash down to the garbage shoot. I swear she’s the only sober person here,” he laughs.

“Oh I saw her tying one on with some hot blonde dude. They were sharing the Vodka bottle like it was soda and swapping spit on a bamboo mat. I’m pretty sure we are going to want to burn that one over there,” Jensen points to the specific mat.

“Thanks for the mental hetero image there Jen,” he winces. “Well better get my ass moving,” he stands up and stretches. “This place isn’t going to clean itself up.

“Let me help,” Jensen says standing up.

“Sit back down, you’re the party boy, they never help do the clean up,” he pushes Jensen back into his seat.

“Yes sir, whatever you say.”

Everyone is gone and Jared is giving Gen a big hug good-bye. “Thanks for helping hon,” he kisses her forehead.

“Get some sleep Jay,” she says before disappearing into the stairwell.

Jared takes a deep breath as he walks over to wake Jensen up. “Hey, time to get up sleepyhead,” he laughs.

Jensen looks up sleepily and smiles. “Sit down, join me,” he points to the chair next to his.

“We should go down, it’s 4am,” Jared says plopping down exhaustedly.

“We’ll watch the sun come up,” he points over the roof tops of the college buildings.

“Jensen, that’s west, the sun rises in the east,” he chuckles as he points in the other direction. “We’ll have to turn our chairs around.”

“Too tired, let’s just enjoy the fact that we know it’s going to come up at some point.”

Jared reaches into a cold water filled tub and retrieves the last beer. He opens it up and takes a swig, he sways a little. “I think I’m a just a little drunk,” his words are a little slurred but not too much. “I don’t think those tequila body shots were a good idea,” he says feeling the roof top start to spin.

“But sucking shots of Tequila out of tight freshman abs is what all gay seniors live for at their graduation parties,” Jensen reaches over and takes the beer from Jared and drinks from it.

“Hey,” he says in protest and then gives up. “You know I think I am the only freshman that you didn’t suck a shot of alcohol out of,” he frowns.

“Well we can fix that,” Jensen stands up and gets on his knees in front of Jared who looks down at him. He pushes Jared’s shirt up and rucks it under his arm pits before making a tight seal with his lips over his navel and blows really hard causing his lips to flap on Jared’s flesh.

Jared bucks up with the tickling sensation; he pulls his knees up and starts to giggle. “Stop! Stop! Please, I surrender,” he cries.

Jensen leans back on his heels and starts to laugh uncontrollably. “Is your navel over being jealous of the other navels?”

Trying to catch his breath Jared relaxes and sighs hard. “Yes, yes it is.”

“Good,” Jensen stands up, he’s looking down at Jared’s flushed red cheeks and half lidded eyes and he’s never looked more beautiful as the pink sky starts to light up behind them. “You know, my brother Josh is getting married next weekend,” he takes a more serous tone. “Would you like to be my date?”

Jared sits straight up; his jaw hits the floor with surprise. “I..” he finds it hard to finish his sentence.

“Never mind, I’m sorry,” he starts to walk away. “It’s okay Jared, I get it.”

Jared grabs his wrist and stands up, Jensen turns back to face him. “I’d love to be your date,” he’s looking directly into Jensen eyes with utter sincerity.

Jensen smiles with the relief. “I thought you were going to turn me down.”

“What, and miss the opportunity to see you in a tux. You would have to drag me away with wild horses,” he laughs. “Besides, a free bar and the chance to do silly wedding dances with you, I’m all in for that.”

****

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

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[part2](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/20489.html)   



	2. If I only had all of you, J2/ Nc-17, part2

  


Friday night they drive to Dallas to stay overnight with Jensen’s parents. When they arrive Jensen’s mom greets them at the door.

“Jensen,” she says throwing her arms around him.

“Mom,” he hugs her tight.

“Come on in, your dad is still at work. Who may I ask is your very tall friend?” she eyes Jared up as he steps in behind Jensen.

“Mom this is Jared Padalecki, remember I told you about him, really tall guy in my dorm,” he puts his hand on Jared’s shoulder. “Jared this is my mom, Donna Ackles.”

“Nice to meet you Mrs. Ackles,” Jared extends his hand to her.

“Oh nonsense, call me Donna and we hug around here,” she throws her arms around Jared’s shoulders and gives him a tight hug. “Now I imagine you boys are hungry from your long drive,” she heads to the kitchen. “I’ll just make you a nice snack.”

“Make it double sized, Jared eats a horse for a snack and a full grown bull for dinner,” he jokes.

Jared hits Jensen on the shoulder. “What did you have to say that for?” he scolds him.

“Cause its true and you know it.”

Jared relents and nods his head in agreement.

Later in the evening after the rehearsal dinner Josh’s friends come over to kidnap him for the bachelor party and they drag Jensen and Jared along too.

They’re taken to a seedy bar outside of the Dallas city limits with a huge sign that reads Live Nude Girls blinking in red neon above the sign that says, Good Times Saloon.

Josh has a hood over his head as he’s led inside, the bouncer stops them and asks for I.D. when he gets to Jared, he inspects his driver’s license more thoroughly than the others. “Date of birth?” he asks him. Jared swallows hard. “July 19, 1979.” The bouncer smiles and hands him back his driver’s license.

Jensen laughs. “Just over the wire there Jay,” he winks. “Nothing like a..” he whispers, “fake I.D.” Jared tucks it into his pocket as he pushes through the people trying to keep up with the group.

The music is loud and the smell of cigars and cigarettes fills the air. They pull Josh’s hood off and the whooping and hollering starts. One of the guys in the group yells out, “Let the fun times roll.”

Jared is staring at a particularly buxom brunette doing a rather lewd movement on the pole in front of him. Jensen elbows him. “Jared snap out of it,” he sits down at the table in front of the stage.

“I can’t help it, they’re entrancing,” he tries to break eye contact with them but she notices and leans forward to wiggle them in his face.

“Oh great, nice, see what’ve done,” Jensen pulls out a ten dollar bill and hands it to Jared. “Hold this out for her; you at least owe her a tip since you’re ogling her with your gay man eyes.”

Jared takes the money holds it up towards the woman dancing, she leans down and wiggles her boobs again then whispers, “Just put it in my cleavage darling.” Jared obeys, his cheeks are blushing and he has to look away as he does it. The group of guys cheers for him. She leans even farther down and kisses him on the cheek. The smell of cheap whiskey and citrus breath mints fills his nostrils. “Thanks sweetie,” she says before returning to her dance routine.

“Alright Jay,” Jensen says with a disgusted tone as he pulls Jared down into the seat next to him. “She’ll be here all night, no need to drool.”

“I’m not drooling, now if that were a hot guy, lets say you, up there dancing for me, I’d be stuffing hundred dollar bills down your underwear and copping a feel,” he smirks at Jensen.

“Hundred dollar bills you say,” He just smiles. “Hefty tip for just a dance.”

“Oh I never said you were **just** dancing for me,” he waggles his eyebrows at Jensen.

“Touché.”

There is a lot of drinking, more than Jared is used to and he is pretty well smashed. They are all taking turns dancing with the bridal dancer and now its Jared’s turn. He stumbles up onto stage as Jensen and his brother cheer him on.

He takes a bow and turns to the lady dressed in a hot pink bikini, feather boa and a white wedding veil, she looks at him through extremely long pink fake eyelashes and smiles with a neon pink mouth. “Come on honey,” she says coaxing him to grind against her.

Laughing and highly intoxicated Jared grabs her by the hips and moves into her. “I’m Patrick Swayze baby,” he stares intently into her eyes as his hips move awkwardly against hers.

Jensen is laughing so hard he thinks he might wet his jeans. “Go Jared,” he yells and whistles.

The stripper reaches back and grabs the pole; she arches her back lifting her leg up to hook it around Jared’s hip. He suddenly becomes very aware of his situation and fumbles with his steps knocking them both off balance. The stripper with her six inch heels can’t balance and she falls into Jared who topples backwards, her leg still precariously wrapped around his waist and when they land, she’s doing a split over Jared’s crotch.

Everyone is laughing as Jensen climbs up on stage and untangles them, helping the stripper off of Jared and back into an upright position. Jared is embarrassed and tries to leave the stage quickly but the stripper lassoes him with her boa and pulls him back, she wraps the boa around his neck then kisses him on the cheek before pushing him to the edge of the stage. She takes her bow and blows them all a kiss before strutting back up the cat walk and out of sight.

“Smooth move,” Jensen says laughing as they sit back down.

“Go Jared,” Jensen’s brother yells as he tips his drink to him. Jared just smiles and tips his glass back before sinking down to hide in the booth.

Josh’s best man comes out and announces lap dances in the rear for everyone so they all get up and make their way back, all but Jensen and Jared.

“Aren’t we going with them?” Jared says swaying from his acute intoxication.

“I’m not in the mood for a lap dance from a woman tonight, even if it is for the sake of my brother’s bachelor party,” Jensen swirls the ice in his drink with his finger.

“I get it, no chicks just dicks,” Jared laughs and moves closer to Jensen taking his alcohol soaked finger and slipping it between his lips to suck the amber liquor off of it.

Jensen can feel himself getting lost in the feeling of Jared’s hot mouth around his digit but then realizes where they are. “Not here Jared,” he says pulling his finger back.

“No one cares, they’re all drunk and horny too,” he runs his hand up Jensen’s thigh stopping at his crotch.

He moves Jared’s hand. “Want to get our asses kicked? Behave.”

Sulking Jared throws his head back and sighs hard. “Okay,” he looks up at the stage and watches the newest dancer, Candy Lane who has a giant multi colored swirl lollypop stuck to each breast and at her crotch. “I guess every guy here wants a taste of her lollypops,” he snickers like a little kid.

“Your next drink order is coffee,” Jensen rolls his eyes.

“You think Jeff will be happy being married?”

“A bit random tonight aren’t you,” Jensen gives him a half smile half confused look.

“Do you think getting married will make him happier?” Jared asks again.

“I don’t know, I guess. He’s been in love with Shelly for five years now; I guess it’s the next logical step for them.”

“Yeah, I’d like to get married some day,” Jared looks wistfully at the melting ice in his glass.

“To a woman?” Jensen knows Jared’s drunk but this confuses him.

Jared straightens up and gives him an upset look. “No jackass, to a guy.”

“Oh, okay, just making sure that when you’re drunk you don’t switch sides.”

“Nope, still like the dick. It would be nice to find the right guy and settle down together,” he smiles a silly grin. “How about you?”

“I don’t know, I hate the thought of being tied down, but I really don’t want to be alone when I’m old either,” he takes the last swallow of his drink.

“Not wanting to be tied down is the problem of being married,” he thinks about it for a second or two, “unless you marry someone who doesn’t care if you fool around.”

“Who would want that? I mean an open marriage; it’s hard enough playing the field without someone getting jealous but to be living an open marriage, that would just be awkward.”

“A good friend maybe,” he makes a wide flirtatious grin and bats his eyelashes. “A friend with benefits maybe?”

Giving Jared a knowing look from the corner of his eye Jensen makes a snap decision to play along with Jared’s flirtations. “Okay then, how about this Jared. If when I’m thirty years old and you haven’t gotten married yet, what if we get married? I mean we are friends with benefits and you are actually my best friend with benefits, why should we be lonely and miserable when we can be together without any of the entanglements of monogamy.”

Jared can’t believe what he’s hearing, he sits up and pays close attention. “So let me get this right, you’re proposing we get married in nine years,” he’s just making sure he heard Jensen correctly.

“I am proposing we get married in nine years only if you are not married yet and I am not otherwise inclined to be with a partner,” Jensen gives him a sly look.

“Do you think it could work?” Jared asks inquisitively, because he’s actually considering the idea.

“Sure, we’re best friends with benefits, this would just kick it up a notch and give us both some security for the future, a piece of paper shouldn’t change our friendship,” Jensen smiles as he slides his drink tumbler back and forth making a wet streak on the black tabletop.

Jared quickly sticks his hand out. “It’s a deal,” he says anxiously waiting for Jensen to shake on it.

Jensen shakes his hand. “Done deal,” he says figuring that with the amount of alcohol Jared had, that in the morning this would be nothing but a faded memory.

 

There have been so many things happen in the last nine years. After graduation Jensen found work at a small publishing house where he got a job as the magazine editor for Male Life, a gay publication. Not exactly what a business degree comes in handy for, but he did use his expertise in marketing to build up the small business into what it has become today, the third highest ranking magazine publisher in the United States. He has a fancy office with a secretary slash assistant named Danneel Harris, she likes to be called the latter because secretary is so 80’s according to her.

Jared graduated with his bachelor’s degree in literature with a minor in English. He got a job in a small family run new and used book store named Dog Eared Pages right off of campus. He became very fond of this particular purveyor of books after Jensen graduated and he needed a new place to hang out. They had coffee and poetry readings plus it didn’t hurt that his best gal pal Genevieve Cortese’s parents own the store. He loves his job. Meeting new people, talking about books, wearing pretentious scarves even in the hottest days of summer and best of all; it’s only three blocks away from the diner where he meets Jensen for lunch three times a week.

Yes, he and Jensen have remained the closest of friends. Jared has watched Jensen burn through men for the last nine years. He can’t count how many times he has had to pose as his boyfriend to get stalkers to leave him alone when they’re out. Despite Jensen’s obvious love of the playboy life style, Jared still has his eye on the prize and has been counting down the days, all 3,287 of them, since Jensen promised to marry him. He never mentions it, hasn’t talked about it since the day it happened but even though Jensen must think he’s forgotten about it, he hasn’t and in three weeks on Jensen’s thirtieth birthday, he’s going to remind him.

It’s Wednesday’s lunch date at Carol’s diner when Jared brings up about Jensen’s birthday bash. “So Jen, you still letting me organize the big birthday getaway?”

“Sure whatever you want Jay, I know it’ll be fun,” Jensen says with a mouth full of corned beef.

“Great then, I’ll need your credit card for the four plane tickets,” he says nonchalantly.

“Wait, this is my birthday party and you want me to pay for everyone’s tickets,” a bit of sauerkraut flies out of Jensen’s mouth while he’s talking.

“You know I don’t have that kind of money, I only work at the bookstore ya know,” he’s stirring his salad greens up with his fork.

Jensen takes a deep breath. “This is why I want you to come over and work for me, I’ll make sure you get great pay,” he pulls out his credit card and hands it to Jared. “Two tickets, make the other guys buy their own if they want to come,” he lets go of the edge of the card.

“Two tickets it is. I am not coming over to your corporate cubical prison and becoming one of your text jockeys,” he slips the card into his messenger bag.

“But you would make twice the money and it isn’t that bad being a proof reader,” he takes another bite of sandwich.

“Isn’t my happiness worth anything to you?”

“It’s worth everything to me, just not monetarily. Come on, you could move out of that one room apartment and get a nice loft or something you can have a library in,” the ice from his diet coke clinks in the empty glass as he swallows the last of it.

“It’s called a studio apartment and my bookcase is just fine, I can read anything and everything I want at the bookstore. Stop trying to change me just because you’re Mr. Richey Rich over at the magazine,” his face is getting a bit flushed.

“Calm down Jay, it’s alright, stay at Dog Eared, your happiness is more important than money,” Jensen smiles at the waitress behind the lunch counter and points to his empty glass.

“Good, because you know I am just waiting for that handsome rich man to come and sweep me off of my feet to take me away from my life of poverty and mediocrity,” he chuckles.

“Good luck with that,” he says smiling. “Thanks,” he says to the waitress when she slides the diet coke in front of him and takes his empty glass away.

“Speaking of perfect men, how’s what’s his name? You know that guy with the mole, Enrique’s twin,” Jared points to his left cheek and sucks them in to give the model pose.

“You mean Shane,” he says smirking. “And he doesn’t have a mole.”

Jared snaps his fingers. “Yeah, Shane, I could have sworn he had an Enrique mole or a Ricky Martin hair do, some kind of Latino heart throb-esque thing,” Jared slicks his quaff of long hair back while still making the model face.

“We have agreed not to see each other anymore; he was becoming too attached for my liking.”

“Oh dang it, and I thought he was the one who would tame you,” Jared frowns while eating another bite of salad.

“Dang it?” Jensen starts to laugh; his expression is one of amused confusion. “What are you a gold rush prospector are you going to start squinting one eye when you talk and saying things like dag nabbit and yippity skippity while growing an unruly beard?”

Jared makes the most serious expression he can muster. “Oh shit, I thought he was the one. Is that better,” he asks with a more a sober tone.

“That’s my Jared, but don’t rule out the beard, that could be interesting,” he winks and gives him that thousand watt smile that always makes Jared’s heart melt.

When lunch is over Jensen and Jared walk out together and as always they say their good-byes at Jensen’s car before Jared walks back to the store.

Jensen’s thirtieth birthday bash has been the only thing he can think about for the past few months. He’s planning a huge trip to Las Vegas, what better way for them to spend it than in Sin City with shows and gambling for an entire weekend.

When he gets back to the store Gen has been covering his shift. “Hey girl,” he gives her a big hug.

“Jare,” she hugs him back. “You smell like Jensen’s cologne,” she observes.

“Yeah but nothing happened, we just hugged after lunch outside of the diner,” he smells the edge of his scarf trying to catch a whiff of the cologne.

‘Yeah well keep it that way, you know he’s a no good hound dog, not good for you at all,” she scolds him.

“Yes mother,” he retorts.

“You know it Jare, I know you’re still thinking about this thirtieth birthday proposal thingy but you can get that out of your head before Jensen shoots you down like a bullet through a balloon.”

“Don’t worry about me, it’s all good, no high expectations over here,” he knows he has high expectations, he knows he’s been in love with Jensen for almost ten years and to be honest he’s not really sure if he knows how Jensen really feels about him other than being his best friend with some random sexual benefits.

Later on when things are slow he calls the travel agent and finds some good deals on flights, hotel rooms and show packages for the weekend. He calls Steve and Chris to set things up with them but neither can get away for that weekend so it’s just going to be him and Jensen, which is perfectly fine with him.

Jensen calls Jared on Thursday to change their lunch plans to dinner plans at Mike’s Tavern for drinks and dinner and he gets his voicemail. _There’s a beep somewhere, leave your contact info after it._ Jensen hates his voicemail message. “Jay, I can’t make lunch today, have a meeting but how about dinner and drinks at Mike’s about 6:30, let me know if you can’t make it,” he starts to hang up but then says, “And change that damned message.”

It’s the weekend of Jensen’s birthday getaway and since Jared isn’t meeting Jensen for lunch he spends his lunch hour gadding about picking up things for the trip. He needs new shoes, luggage and to pick up Jensen’s birthday gift so he swings by the travel agent for the hotel confirmation reservation slip and show tickets.

When Jared finally shows up at Mike’s he’s half an hour late.

“I nearly gave up on you,” Jensen says taking a sip from his drink.

“Sorry, was busy all day and had to print these up,” he pulls the plane tickets out of his messenger bag and hands them to Jensen.

“What,” he looks at them and smiles. “Sweet,” he nods with approval.

“Oh and that’s not all,” Jared produces an envelope with gold lettering on it. “Take a look at these,” he smiles proudly as he hands them over to Jensen.

Jensen reads the gold lettering, his eyes get big and his expression is one of complete excitement. “The Palazzo Hotel and Casino,” he looks at Jared like he can’t believe it. “And a show, Cirque du Soleil,” he’s smiling from ear to ear. “You went all out,” he gives Jared a frugal glare. “How much did this cost me?”

“Don’t worry, you only paid for the plane tickets, I paid for the hotel and show.”

“But, how, on your salary, it’s the freaking Palazzo and Cirque?” he fans out the tickets.

“I’ve been saving up for your thirtieth for a few years,” Jared grins. He’s been saving up for his big thirtieth for about ten years, but he won’t tell Jensen that tidbit.

“Well then, this calls for something more than a drink,” he turns to the bartender. “A bottle of Johnny Walker Blue and two glasses,” he lays the money out on the bar, tucks the bottle under his arm and takes the glasses to a more secluded table in the dining area.

A few hours later after they’ve eaten and had dessert, they’ve consumed almost half of the bottle of whiskey. Jensen’s speech is slurred and he’s leaning against Jared in the booth. He swirls the drink in his glass. “You know, I almost left with a guy that hit on me at the bar when you didn’t show up on time,” he takes a long sip of his drink.

Jared’s a little drunk but he hasn’t had as much as Jensen so he’s still pretty coherent. “Why didn’t you just call me to find out what was up,” he asks confused.

“Cause I was pissed that you stood me up,” Jensen waves his hands emphatically as he slides even farther into Jared.

“I’d never stand you up. Aren’t you glad you waited though,” Jared pulls him in closer helping him to sit up straight again.

“Fuck yeah,” he says boisterously. “Best fucking Birthday present ever,” he paws at Jared’s face. “You’re the best fucking boyfriend ever.”

Jared’s eyes get wide and he smiles. “Boyfriend?” he smirks.

“Yeah, boy comma friend,” he pats Jared’s shoulder. “And sometimes you give me great head too,” he starts to laugh.

“I think you’ve had too much to drink,” he pushes the bottle and glass out of Jensen’s reach.

“Hey that cost me Ninety dollars,” he reaches for the bottle again.

Jared pulls it away. “And you can finish it another day, right now you are going home,” he pulls his phone out and calls them a cab.

When the cab arrives and they climb in, Jared gives them Jensen’s address and says that is the first drop off.

“Are you going home?” Jensen asks looking forlorn as the cab pulls out of the parking lot.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I go home,” Jared says.

Jensen looks out the window like he’s thinking. “I thought maybe you’d come in for a bit,” he doesn’t look back at Jared but watches his reflection in the window.

“I just can’t, I have to be up early in the morning for work plus taxi out to get the car beforehand, it’s just not doable tonight,” he hates saying it, doesn’t ever like turning Jensen down but once in a while he can’t help it.

 

“Yeah I understand,” he turns and leans into Jared. He’s sliding his hand up inside of his jacket to his broad shoulder as he stares into his eyes with an intent gaze.

Jared blushes and quickly looks up at the driver who is peeking at them in the rearview mirror. He whispers into Jensen’s ear, “We can’t do this here, he’s watching us,” he moves his hand up into his jacket to remove Jensen’s hand but he’s holding on tight to the collar of his shirt.

“An extra tip and he’ll forget all about it,” he nips at Jared’s earlobe as he whispers hot and breathy into it.

Jared looks at the man who is frequently glancing into his mirror at them. “I don’t like it, gives me the creeps,” he says even though his body is responding to Jensen’s every touch.

“Let him watch, isn’t like he’s gonna actually see anything, besides maybe it’ll turn him on,” he slides his hand down the front panel of buttons to Jared’s waistband and pops it open before sliding the zipper down so his hand will fit inside better.

Gasping, Jared pushes into the touch of Jensen’s thick fingers slipping along the front panel of his boxers. The rough seam presses into the head of his cock as Jensen rubs over it.

“Nice isn’t it,” he says as he gently strokes Jared’s throbbing cock.

Jared moans quietly at the touch, his head goes back and Jensen can’t resist sucking along the expanse of exposed neck. Jared’s lost in the feeling, his hands grab at Jensen searching all over his chest and then down to the top of his jeans. “Oh God,” he moans breathlessly as he breaches the thick denim band with his long fingers. Jensen’s not wearing any underwear. “Fuck Jen,” his eyes open wide as he whispers with surprise.

“Hey never know when you’re gonna get lucky,” he chuckles. “Speaking of,” he leans forward and kisses the head of Jared’s leaking cock before opening his lips and sliding them down the shaft.

Jared’s mind is blank, all he can do is feel all of the heat and wet from Jensen’s mouth bobbing up and down over his hard cock. He spits on his hand and puts it back on Jensen’s cock stroking it. He squeezes at the head before gently twisting his way down the shaft. “Oh God,” he groans out. There isn’t anyone else in the world at this very moment, just them, alone in a huge world of pleasure.

Jensen is sucking Jared all the way to the back of his throat, the alcohol has his throat numb enough to deep throat his huge cock without gagging, he likes it, thinks he might come just from feeling the head breach the back of his throat. He pulls off panting, saliva all over his mouth as he kisses Jared sloppily.

“Fuck Jen,” Jared moans as he shoves him into the seat. He’s trailing kisses down Jensen; when he gets to his jeans he opens the fly with his teeth and pulls out his cock. He licks at the head before sucking it in. He enjoys giving Jensen head, loves the feel of his thick cock hitting the back of his throat as he listens to him moan and pant, the feeling of his fingers gripping the back of his head, intertwining through his hair. It’s intimate, seductive and fucking hot. He feels Jensen’s hand stroking his cock, the long wet pulls as he slips over it, the way his fingers grip just tight enough to tug but loose enough to tickle the shaft and he can’t help it, he feels his balls tighten, and he comes without too much warning. “Shit yeah,” he grunts out with a mouth full of cock.

Jensen chuckles through his own gasps of pleasure as he bucks slightly into Jared’s eager mouth; his hand leaves Jared’s softening cock so that he can lick his fingers clean. “Always love how you taste,” he mumbles almost inaudibly but Jared hears him and increases his rhythm.

The thick smacking sound of Jared’s mouth, Jensen’s panting and writhing as his hand guides Jared’s willing mouth is intense, he feels the heat pooling in his belly and he knows he is going to come so he warns Jared. “Okay, gonna come Jay,” he lets go of Jared’s head but Jared just keeps going with even more vigor. “Jay,” he says tapping his back just in case he’s too into it and didn’t hear him. “Going to come,” he’s groaning and squeezing the door rest.

“Mmhmm,” he mumbles his acknowledgement right before Jensen shots warm and wet over his tongue.

“Fuck yeah,” Jensen burst out in a loud tone. He’s bucking into Jared’s mouth as he spurts out the last of his orgasm.

Jared swallows it all before pulling off with a pop. His lips are glistening with a mix of come and spit, he wipes over them with the back of his hand. “Nice,” his voice is rough and fucked out.

He’s tucking himself back into his Jeans when he notices the car isn’t moving anymore. “When did we stop,” he says looking around seeing Jensen’s house. “Holy shit,” he looks up at the driver who is watching them in the rearview mirror.

“That will be forty-five dollars,” he says putting his hand out for the cash.

“Pay the man,” Jensen says to Jared as he’s zipping up his jeans.

Jared counts out the money and pays him. “What no tip,” the driver says disgruntled.

“Watching me get my cock sucked should be tip enough,” Jensen quips as he’s climbing out of the back of the cab. “And don’t think I didn’t see you watching us, bet your pants have a wet stain,” he leans in and kisses Jared who is obviously uncomfortable with this whole exchange. “See you tomorrow,” he ducks back out of the taxi and closes the door.

Jared watches him staggering up the driveway to the gate and once he enters, Jared clears his throat to get the drivers attention. “Take me home now,” he says with a timid tone of awkwardness.

It’s Friday morning and Jared’s phone starts ringing as he’s crossing the street to the bookstore, it’s Jensen. “Good morning,” he says cheerfully.

“Don’t good morning me,” Jensen groans. “My head is pounding and I am not sure what my stomach wants to do yet. Why did you let me drink so much last night?”

“I didn’t realize I was your babysitter,” Jared snickers. “Oh by the way, I have your bottle of whiskey at home, you forgot it with all of the,” he clears his throat, “excitement last night.”

“I’m lucky I remember anything from last night,” he’s groaning.

“Why thank you for the compliment Mr. Ackles,” Jared shoots back at him.

“You know what I mean,” he says apologetically. “I think I better call off of work,” he looks in the mirror, “I am literally green looking.”

“Well okay then,” Jared’s feeling sorry for him and wants to give him words of encouragement. “Have an egg scrambled dry and some plain toast, it’ll help your tummy feel better,” he’s trying to be helpful.

“I think I am going to barf!” the sound of the phone hitting something solid echoes through Jared’s ear.

Jared grimaces at the sound. “I’ll call you later to see how you’re doing,” he quickly hangs up the phone to avoid the next sounds, knowing full well what was coming next.

Later that night Jared shows up at Jensen’s door with chicken soup and crackers. Jensen’s in bed with the covers over his head when Jared finds him.

“Hey sleepyhead,” he says crawling in bed beside him, setting the container of piping hot soup on the nightstand.

Jensen pokes his head out from beneath the comforter. “Hey,” he groans. “I couldn’t go in to work today, too sick.”

“Awww,” Jared kisses him on the forehead. “You need a shower and some of this good chicken soup from the diner,” he pulls the covers down and drags Jensen out of bed.

He strips him down and shoves him into the shower. “Make sure to wash all of the important parts,” he closes the door and sits down on the toilet to wait.

When Jensen emerges he’s dripping wet, Jared towels him off rubbing his body all over like a brisk massage. “That feels amazing,” Jensen’s voice is relaxed now. “I’m feeling a lot better; a shower really does do wonders.”

“Now for a shave,” he sets Jensen down on the toilet and pulls out the electric shaver. “You are so stubbly,” he says rubbing his hand over the half beard.

“I haven’t shaved in two days,” he looks up at Jared and smiles.

“Well now you are,” he tilts Jensen’s head back and starts to run the shaver over the stubble, his long fingers caress the bristles of hair along the jaw line. The shaver moves slowly down Jensen’s cheek then over his upper lip catching the hairs at the corner of his mouth. Jared runs his finger lightly over Jensen’s full lower lip as he pulls the flesh to the side so that he shaves clean the side of his chin.

Jensen is enjoying every touch, loving the soft strokes of his fingers as they manipulate his skin and head. He licks his lips and tastes the salt from Jared’s fingertips lingering on them. He’s becoming very aroused so he reaches his hands out and onto Jared’s hips which are right in front of him, he runs his thumbs over the hip bones beneath his jeans and tugs him a little closer.

“Almost done,” Jared says. He feels Jensen’s hand on him, wants to respond but doesn’t, he wants to hold back for this weekend, wants things to be special for them when he gently reminds Jensen of the birthday pact.

“Good,” Jensen says pulling Jared even closer, their legs now touching.

 

“And, done,” he turns off the shaver trying not to notice that he’s half hard. “Now how about some of that delicious chicken soup,” he quickly pulls away from Jensen’s grip and disappears down the hall.

Jensen is bewildered at what’s just happened but he follows Jared down to the kitchen anyway.

Jared already has the soup in the microwave; there are two bowls on the kitchen counter as he waits for the timer to ding.

“Smells good,” Jensen says sitting down on a stool.

“It should, it’s from the diner,” he’s pouring the steaming contents out into the waiting bowls. “Here ya go, eat up,” he sits on the opposite stool facing Jensen.

“Perfect,” Jensen smiles as he blows on his next heaping spoonful.

They eat the soup as they make plans to meet at the airport in the morning. Jensen tries to persuade Jared to spend the night, “Maybe you could just spend the night and we could go together in the morning,” he uses Jared’s usual tactic to get his way, the very patent and resourceful puppy dog eyes.

“I haven’t even packed yet,” Jared says as he’s cleaning up the soup dishes.

“But it will save time,” Jensen persists.

“I told you, I have to pack and get things done,” he acts exasperated but he’s really not, he just makes the lame packing excuse.

Standing up and walking over to Jared, Jensen puts his hands on his hips and holds him close. “Are you sure, I mean I can buy you new clothes when we get there,” he smiles a sheepish smile.

“I’m going home now,” he throws the dish rag in the sink, “ **to pack** ,” he makes sure to kiss Jensen’s forehead before heading out the door. When he gets to his car he leans over the steering wheel and takes several deep breaths as he engages all of his willpower to pull out of the driveway.

  
[part3](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/20868.html)   



	3. If I only had all of you, J2/ Nc-17, part3

  


Jared’s so excited that he barely sleeps a wink but gets up at five am when his alarm goes off so that he’s not late to the airport.

Sitting in a coffee shop directly across from the boarding terminal Jared is waiting for Jensen, he’s sipping his coffee and looking at his watch impatiently. He looks around expectantly every five minutes or so. He finally sees Jensen nonchalantly strolling towards him, he smiles and steps out of the shop to get his attention.

“You look very excited,” Jensen says as he sits down at the table.

Jared shoves a cup in front of him. “Hazelnut dark roast, your favorite,” he smiles.

“Thanks,” Jensen licks his lips in anticipation as he brings it to his mouth.

“Oh, and Happy Birthday,” he can’t contain his giant smile.

“And thanks again,” he looks around. “Where are Chris and Steve, I thought they were coming with us,” he sips at his coffee some more while making happy sounds.

“Did I forget to tell you, I must have,” he laughs. “Yeah, they aren’t coming with us, they couldn’t get away this weekend but that shouldn’t stop us from having a good time,” he quickly drinks from his paper cup.

“Not really a problem, I think just the two of us in Vegas can tear that strip up,” Jensen tips his cup to Jared. “To us and what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” he winks and taps Jared’s cup before taking another sip.

Jared smiles as their boarding call is announced over the loud speaker. “Seems like you made it just in time,” he laughs as they head across to the boarding area.

 

Jared sleeps the entire plane ride and Jensen watches the movie Hijacked, not the best in flight movie since it’s about a plane that gets air jacked but it beats listening to Jared snore for three hours.

When they head out of the terminal Jensen notices a man with a drivers cap on holding a sign that says **J. Ackles/J. Padalecki** and turns to Jared. “See that guy,” he points to the sign. “I think we have a car waiting because what are the odds of another J. Padalecki in the Las Vegas airport today,” he laughs.

“Oh yeah, we do have a limo for the weekend too. It was a package deal with the hotel and I thought who doesn’t want taxied around in a limo for their birthday bash weekend so I added it,” Jared beams as he leads them through the crowd to the driver.

“Absolutely, who wouldn’t,” Jensen’s laughing as he’s dragged through the din of people.

 

It’s a quick ride to the Palazzo Hotel; they both stare at the ornate and exaggerated architecture of the Casinos and can’t wait for the sun to set so this desert metropolis turns into the giant city of sin and lights it promises in its brochures.

At the hotel the check in is quick and easy, there is no time wasted before they are on their way to the suite. The hotel’s bellhop, who is dressed in a red coat, box hat and white gloves is pushing a huge golden metal cage with their overnight bags rattling around inside of it, it’s all very cliché as he leads them to the elevator. They are in complete awe of all of the machines and people pumping money into them, the sounds of them chiming and clanking, it’s all to entice them to rush right back down to gamble their hard earned money away.

The bellhop opens the door to the suite and puts their bags inside. “Gentlemen, have a nice stay,” he says holding out his white gloved hand. Jared digs into his pocket and pulls out a twenty and hands it to him. “Thank you,” he says as he bows out while closing the door behind himself.

Jensen looks around the room. It’s like a mini palace with a giant chandelier in the middle of the room. “Wow Jared, you went all out,” he exclaims with wide eyes.

“It is pretty nice,” Jared tries to act nonchalant about it but it’s got to be the sweetest suite he’s ever seen.

Jensen walks into one of the open doors and there is a huge master bedroom off of the sitting room. He calls for Jared and Jared comes running, “What’s the matter?” Jensen is pointing to the hot tub in front of a huge bay window as big as the wall. “It has a freaking hot tub! A. FREAKING, HOT TUB!” he exclaims with great enthusiasm.

Jared starts to laugh that kind of belly laugh that he does when something really is tickling his fancy. “Yes Jensen, a hot tub,” he says through his giggling.

There is a fruit basket on the big table next to the wet bar, Jensen pulls an apple off it and bites into it. “I am fucking starving,” his mouth is full of apple bits as he talks.

“Maybe we should go down to the dining room and have something to eat before we hit the gambling tables,” Jared says taking a banana from the basket.

“Gambling,” Jensen says wide eyed. “I could go for some really good gambling, like poker or blackjack,” his eyes get wide. “Or… Craps, yeah dice, seven the hard way,” his eyes get even wider. “Maybe roulette, black 18 or red 23,” he bites into the apple again.

“You really love this trip and we haven’t done anything but check into the hotel,” Jared’s slowly eating his banana as he watches the childlike wonder in Jensen’s eyes.

“Hell yeah, come to Vegas and get super nasty cause what happens in Vegas,” he points to Jared for the rest of the line.

“Stays in Vegas,” Jared laughs.

“I have to change, I can’t gamble on my birthday in this these fucking jeans and sneakers,” he grabs his bag and heads for the master bedroom. “Gonna grab a shower too.”

“Okay, have fun,” Jared says still laughing at Jensen’s excitement. He’s excited too but not about gambling.

Suddenly there is a loud whoop from the bathroom and Jared runs in to see if Jensen is alright. “What’s wrong?” he screams as he throws the bathroom door open.

“They have two shower heads, for two people,” he’s standing in the middle of the shower as the water beats down on his naked body from both heads. “And they have male masturbators too,” he’s smiling from ear to ear as he holds up a green flesh light and a packet of lube wrapped in a plastic wrapper like a McDonald’s happy meal toy. “They have dildos too,” he’s virtually gushing about the sanitarily wrapped sex toys.

“Wonderful,” Jared’s laughing again, his face lit up like a 1000 watt bulb at seeing Jensen so excited over nothing. “We’ll have to rate it on the Zagat’s guide to hotels edition.

“Five Stars for all the important amenities, food and sex toys,” Jensen laughs.

 

 

When Jensen finally comes out of the bedroom, Jared is waiting on the sofa watching something on the 56inch flat screen TV mounted on the wall.

Jensen is looking in the mirror straightening his tie. “What are you watching,” he asks as he turns around to look at the screen.

“Some free porn thing on the,” he hits the info button to get the channel and title. “Spice channel, Dana Doubles Down in Dallas.”

“You are watching het porn,” Jensen is shocked and amused.

“ **Free** Porn,” he emphasizes. “Besides its double penetration, who doesn’t wanna watch two dicks shoved in one tight hole,” he gives Jensen a sly grin before winking at him.

“But it’s a girls hole,” he walks behind the sofa and watches a little bit. “I surrender, two dicks shoved into one tight hole, regardless of the hole, is still hot,” he grabs the remote and turns off the TV.

“Hey, I was watching that,” Jared fakes complaint.

“Food now, gambling and then possible porn, gay porn, in the **fucking** hot tub,” he pulls Jared by the arm.

After dinner they hit the casino. Jensen is like a little kid, he’s drinking every complimentary drink that floats by him, flirting with the waiters and waitresses. The drunker he gets the bigger the tips seem to get too.

They play a few hands of Texas Hold’em where Jared fares very well coming away with a few thousand extra dollars and Jensen just a few hundred on top, which he loses at the craps table. He’s eyeing up a few hot studs who keep watching him too.

“Hey Jared,” he leans into him as they wait at the bar for a seat to open up at the Roulette table. “You have your own room, right?”

Jared looks at him confused. “Yeah, why,” he asks before looking in the direction that Jensen’s eyes are looking. He sees the two men with pearly white smiles and shirts that accent their budging biceps. “Oh… that’s why,” he groans.

“I might be bringing up a little birthday cake,” he winks and clicks his tongue against his cheek.

“Don’t worry, I won’t bother you,” Jared says as he finishes off the rest of his drink and orders another. He’s largely disappointed but what else should he expect, it is Jensen’s birthday today, he deserves _cake_.

 

Jensen sends two drinks over to the men who seem to respond very well to them, they come over to the bar.

“Thanks for the drinks, I’m Tom,” the taller of the two men says.

“And I’m Josh,” the sandy haired one says. “We were just admiring you,” he says seductively as he licks his plush red lips.

“Yeah,” Tom says eyeing up Jared. “You two together,” he asks smiling at Jared.

“Uh N…” Jared starts to answer but is interrupted by Jensen.

“Kind of,” Jensen says running his fingers up Jared’s arm. “Friends with benefits,” he continues.

“Cool, Josh and I are together, have been for three years now,” Tom says moving in next to Jensen.

“Yeah, it works so well because we like to share things openly with each other,” he slides in next to Jared and takes his arm.

Jared flinches away from his touches. “Oh sharing,” he says nervously. He’s watching Jensen play along with the game and become involved in Tom.

“Sharing is always a good thing,” Jensen’s speech is slurred from all of the alcohol. He’s leaning into Tom who is holding him up now.

“Yeah well,” Jared notices Tom slipping his hand in Jensen’s shirt pocket as he pretends to be petting his chest. He reaches over and knocks his hand away. “Hold on a minute,” he barks out and pushes Josh off. “I think you guys better just keep on going, we haven’t won big at the tables and there is nothing here for you,” he looks around for a security guard.

“Okay,” Tom says holding his hands up in surrender. “Come on Josh, seems like someone doesn’t want a good time,” he moves away from Jensen.

“Hey, wait, I want a good time,” Jensen says reaching for Tom’s buff arm. He turns and gives Jared a stern look. “What the fuck did you do that for,” he says harshly.

“He had his hand in your breast pocket, he was going to pickpocket you,” Jared defends his actions.

“Oh really,” Jensen scoffs.

“Why would I try to ruin your fun if it wasn’t for your own good, tell me,” Jared gets stern with him.

Jensen thinks about it for a second as he looks around the room and sees that the two guys are already all over another man sitting at a gaming table before looking back at Jared. “You’re only looking out for me,” he says as he touches his arm. “Thank you,” he smiles at Jared.

“Hey a seat just opened up,” he starts to lead Jensen to the table.

“Nah, I think the hot tub is calling to me,” he winks at Jared and orders a bottle of champagne to be sent up to his room. “It’s getting late, I am far too drunk, and I lost too much money for my first night here.”

After entering the suite, Jensen is naked in five seconds flat and sinking down into the bubbling hot water; he has a plastic water tumbler full of champagne in his hand as he leans back against the side with a relaxing sigh. “Nothing soothes your drunken bones more than a hot tub.”

Jared’s standing on the edge of the tub stripping off his pants and boxers before settling down into the water, letting it wash over his entire body. “Nice,” he says slowly as the water swirls around under his chin.

Jensen slides across the tub to sit next to Jared. “Have some Champagne,” he says sliding a tumbler and the bottle over between them on the edge.

“Thanks but I’ve had enough tonight,” he’s relaxing in the hot water; his eyes closed and head tilted back.

Leaning back and taking a sip of his drink, Jensen stretches his arms out over the lip. “You know, this was a good idea, Jay. I mean, thirty, I am fucking thirty years old today.”

“Yup thirty have any plans for the future?” he asks opening one eye to look over at Jensen.

“Hell I don’t even have plans for tomorrow, yet,” he laughs and takes another swallow of his drink.

“No plans at all, nothing at all,” Jared sits up and looks at Jensen seriously.

“You know me Jay, when have I ever made actual plans for the future? Well, other than oil changes and laundry day,” he chuckles at his own humor.

“College maybe,” Jensen smiles innocently.

“Oh my God Jared, fucking college,” he says like he has an epiphany.

Jared smiles. “Yeah, college,” he says expectantly.

“Too long ago to even remember, or I’m too drunk to remember,” he slides a hand under the water and touches Jared’s leg. “The only thing I remember from college is getting major ass as often as I wanted it,” he gets dreamy eyed like he’s remembering. “All those hot young bodies, mouths, asses,” he sighs contentedly at the fond memories.

“Yeah, college was a sexcapade,” Jared frowns.

“What are you complaining about, I remember you got a lot of what you wanted, and often too,” Jensen squeezes Jared’s leg a little harder.

“Not all of what I wanted,” Jared whispers.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” Jared acts innocent. He tries to boost Jensen’s memory. “Remember at your brother’s wedding, at the strip club, we were talking about getting married,” he’s trying hard to prompt him.

“Honestly I don’t, I think I was pretty far gone. What I do remember is you being fucking plastered, dancing with a stripper and falling on your ass on stage,” Jensen breaks out in a roar of laughter.

Yeah, well that wasn’t the highlight of my evening,” Jared says embarrassedly.

“But it was funny,” Jensen slips his hand farther up Jared’s thigh.

“Regardless,” he continues. “We made a pact that if you weren’t married by your thirtieth birthday, we’d get married so that neither of us would be lonely old men,” he looks at Jensen hopefully.

“Oh, that?” he laughs. “Yeah, I remember that, well, kind of,” he’s lying, he remembers it very clearly.

“Yeah, well, you’re thirty and single,” he smiles.

Jensen looks at Jared’s doe eyes staring at him and his heart melts. He knows marrying Jared would make his life complete, to marry his best friend and have no complications. He very quickly decides that if Jared wants to do it, and he seems to want to, he wants to do it too. He takes Jared’s hand and smiles at him. “Jared Tristan Padalecki, will you marry me tonight?”

Jared’s eyes get wide, he can’t actually believe it, he really never thought that Jensen would actually propose, just maybe say; yeah let’s do it and that would be it. “Of course,” he blurts out with excitement.

“Than let’s find an all night gay friendly chapel and do this thing,” he climbs out of the hot tub to get dressed again.

Jared is excited and nervous all at once. His nerves are all over the place and he can’t keep still. The limo driver knows a chapel that will marry same sex couples so they are heading to the Pink Lady Wedding Chapel for their nuptials.

The giant Pink and White neon sign greets them at the entrance to the parking lot. **24 hr chapel, all couples welcome. Welcome to the Pink Lady Wedding Chapel**. Inside there are a few other couples sitting and waiting to be processed. A nice lady in a pink dress and sixties bouffant white blonde wig takes their information, gives them a form to fill out and tells them to have a seat that the minister will be with them shortly.

They’re filling out the necessary information for the marriage certificate, Jared is looking at the two other couples waiting, one is a biker couple covered in tattoos and piercings, the other seems very normal except for the little matching Chihuahuas tucked into brightly colored oversized tote bags. “Interesting couples getting married this evening,” he says to Jensen.

“I guess they are thinking the same thing about us,” he smirks at Jared who still has wet hair from the hot tub. “Not very conventional, now are we,” he pats him on the leg and kisses his forehead.

Jared’s mind is racing, he thinks about what is going to happen after they are married, will it be like normal, will they live in separate houses and what about Jensen’s boyfriends, is it going to be an open marriage after all.

“Here sign this,” Jensen hands him the pen and clipboard.

 

It’s thirty minutes later when the last couple comes out, perky dogs yapping from inside of the tote bags, happy couple all doe eyed and snuggling. They stand under an arch covered in flowers and get a Polaroid shot of their wedding day before leaving.

“Padalecki and Ackles,” The voice rings out from the chapel.

They go in, a man dressed as a minister is standing behind a pulpit. There are pink plastic flowers everywhere along with a white carpet adorned with pink hearts running to the pulpit. They give each other a look of astonishment at the cheesiness of it all and sort of giggle. The minister looks up from the pulpit and smiles, his black hair shining like it’s been plastered down with shoe polish and one of his front teeth is gold.

“Mr. Jared Padalecki and Mr. Jensen Ackles,” he says cheerfully. They walk down the aisle. “Would you like some music with your ceremony,” he asks pointing to a stereo system in the corner, where another woman in a pink dress with a blond bouffant wig is waiting with cd’s at the ready.

Jensen clears his throat as not to laugh. “No we are fine thank you,” he looks at Jared.

“Suit yourself. Now traditional, personal vows or shortened up version,” he asks.

“What is the shortened up version,” Jared asks.

“Basically, you exchange rings…” Jared interrupts him.

“We don’t have any rings,” he looks at Jensen. “We don’t have rings.”

“It doesn’t matter Jay, we’ll get them later, we know we’re married and that is all that counts,” he takes Jared’s hand and smoothes over it with his thumb.

“Then we don’t exchange rings and I say, by the powers vested in me by the great state of Nevada in the City of Las Vegas, I now pronounce you man and wife, or I mean husband and man, or man and man, whatever you prefer.”

Jensen chuckles a little and coughs to cover it up. “Shortened version,” he says.

“Husband and husband,” Jared chimes in.

“Okay,” the minister clears his throat, “We are here today to bring together Jared and Jensen in holy matrimony, if there is anyone who sees just cause why they shouldn’t be married speak now… oh forget that,” he mumbles. “By the powers vested in me by the greater State of Nevada and the city of Las Vegas I now pronounce you husband and husband, you may now kiss the… oh,” he stammers and then finishes “commence with the kissing,”

They peck chastely on the lips as the minister hands them their marriage license, they walk out into the lobby and stop under the archway to get a Polaroid of their wedding day before heading out to the waiting limo.

They finally arrive back at the hotel, it’s two thirty in the morning and they are completely drunk from stopping at an all male striptease club to celebrate their nuptials, a wedding reception in pure bachelor party style.

In the elevator on the way up to their room Jensen starts to fondle Jared, his hand is massaging Jared’s crotch as he sloppily kisses his neck. Jared’s moaning at the touch, his hands groping Jensen’s strong back and clutching at his neck to guide his head. Their bodies are shoved into each other, no space between them as the elevator doors open to their floor. They stumble awkwardly down the hall never disengaging their embrace for a second, not even to open the door.

Jared clumsily slides the hotel key card into the slot and fumbles with the door handle; they fall into the room stumbling into a table just inside the door. They’re laughing as they passionately do the awkward dance to the bedroom, hands everywhere, wet kisses and quiet moans as they stop to press against the wall for better friction as they rut into each other.

 

When they reach the bedroom Jensen expects to fall right into bed and have his way with Jared but Jared has other ideas.

“Mmmm, wait, I have to do something first,” he says pulling away from Jensen’s tight embrace.

“No,” Jensen whines. “We’ve done this before, you don’t need to do anything special, you’re not a blushing virgin groom,” he’s coaxing with every once of persuasion he has.

“You’ll be happy I did,” Jared says heading for the bathroom.

“Wait,” Jensen says as he quickly strips off his jeans. “Are you going to leave me all alone like this,” he takes his hard cock in his hand and strokes it a few times.

Jared turns and starts to laugh. “This reminds me of a bad porno and yes I most definitely am,” he grabs one of the strokers off of the stand inside the bathroom door and throws it at Jensen. “Keep yourself company for a few minutes until I get back,” he disappears behind the door.

“Fine, but if I come, I’m going straight to sleep and you’ll never know what awesome sex you missed out on,” he throws the stroker on the bed and finishes stripping down. He lies across the bed and removes the wrapper from the flesh light stroker before putting it on Jared’s pillow. He tries different seductive positions so that he looks tempting for Jared when he comes out of the bathroom. He looks down at his cock and thinks, _his hard on is jutting straight up like a signal flag for Jared’s mouth or ass, a beacon for him to hone in on and find his way to pleasure land. _“Yeah, that’s just a little bit cheesy,” he laughs at his own cheap porno line.__

__Its fifteen minutes before Jared comes out of the bathroom, he swings the door open and stands seductively in the doorway, a leather codpiece that says happy birthday strapped over his cock, a lit birthday candle between his teeth and baby oil glistening all over his chest. He looks over at Jensen who is lying splayed out on the bed sleeping; he frowns and pulls the candle from between his teeth, blows it out and crawls up onto the bed. He kisses Jensen’s temple trying to wake him but Jensen just smiles and lets out a soft snore before snuggling into Jared’s long warm body. Jared gives in and snuggles in next to him, holding him tight like the big spoon and quickly drifts off to sleep._ _

__The heat on Jensen’s back is inviting so he pushes into it as he starts to wake up. He feels strong arms wrapped around him and he coos contentedly. Once he’s awake and the sun streaming in the open curtains let him know he’s not dreaming anymore he starts to remember the things that happened the night before, they play back like sketchy movie clips. He quickly sits up and scrubs his hand over his face as he fully realizes that he and Jared are now married._ _

__“Good morning,” Jared’s sleepy voice croaks out as he stretches his long body and yawns._ _

__“Morning,” Jensen says turning to look at him. His eyes pop when he sees the codpiece with happy birthday written on it. “Was I that drunk last night,” he asks, “because I don’t remember anything about you in a codpiece.”_ _

__Jared starts to laugh. “Probably because you passed out before you saw me in it,” he runs his finger over the edge of it just below his pubic hair line. “Like what you see,” he says coyly, his lower lip caught between his teeth with an innocent smile._ _

__“What’s not to like,” is all he says as he processes the fact that they never consummated the marriage._ _

__“So, do you want to rip it off of me and have your way with me,” Jared’s running his long fingers over Jensen’s arm teasingly._ _

__Jensen wants to say yes, wants to ravage Jared for all he’s worth but maybe talking things over in a sober state is a much better idea right now, because they need a common ground to stand on and discuss what happens next. “It’s not that I don’t want you,” he sees the look of hurt building in Jared’s expression and he wonders if that was the right choice of words to start this conversation off with. “I mean, I want you but I think that we need to talk first.”_ _

__“About what,” Jared sits up and pulls the edge of the sheet over his nude body. “Is something wrong, is this wrong, did I do something wrong,” he’s confused and starting to feel very unwanted._ _

__“You didn’t do a damned thing wrong Jared, it’s just that we need to talk about things now that we aren’t so drunk. We were pretty impetuous from what I‘m remembering about last night and getting married on a whim because of a silly childish pact we made years ago while intoxicated probably isn’t the best way to start a life off together,” he can hear himself but can’t stop what he’s saying. “I mean I was pretty wasted last night and I am guessing you were too,” he sees a blue and white candle lying on the bed and picks it up. “I don’t remember having any cake,” he’s confused._ _

__“It was part of my outfit,” Jared says quietly as he reaches over and takes it from Jensen. “I wasn’t as drunk as you think I was. I mean, I wasn’t scheming or anything like that but I never expected to get married to you last night. I was just talking about the pact we made because it was your thirtieth birthday and then you proposed and said, lets do this,” he’s looking Jensen in the eyes with a serious yet tender expression._ _

__“I never meant to imply that you were scheming, I just don’t really understand how this happened or why it happened is all,” he knows how it happened but he’s not sure if he is ready to admit to himself that all these years of teasing and friends with benefits was just a cover up to mask his true feelings for him. “Is this what you want Jared, do you want to be married to me knowing that I don’t settle down, I live a life of one night stands and boy toys,” his heart is racing, he fears Jared will agree that it was a mistake but then again would it be the worst thing if he did?_ _

____

 

__“Should we have thought about it a little longer, maybe, but Jen I honestly can’t imagine my life without you and whether it’s as best friends or in matrimony, I want to spend it with you. I know who you are, I know what you’re like and I am willing to accept it, have for all of these years haven’t I?” he’s dead serious about his decision._ _

__Jensen can’t find any regret in Jared’s eyes; he doesn’t actually feel any in his own heart either. “Than I guess you are my gorgeous trophy husband,” he reaches out and takes Jared’s hand and gives it a squeeze as he smiles at him with a glimmer of pride in his eyes._ _

__“Trophy husband huh,” Jared laughs. “I guess there are worse things to be,” he leans forward and kisses Jensen on the cheek. “So we haven’t consummated the marriage yet,” he grins wickedly._ _

__“Oh I could fuck you into the mattress right now,” he says with a sultry tone. “But is that the way we want to do it?”_ _

__“Is there any other way,” Jared says confused._ _

__“You realize our families are going to be pissed when they find out we got married without telling them especially your mother since you are her baby boy,” Jensen says with all sincerity._ _

__“Holy shit, I didn’t even think of that,” he knits his brow and makes a grimace with his mouth._ _

__“Yeah, how are we going to handle this,” Jensen takes a deep breath as he settles beside Jared on the bed and covers up with the blanket._ _

__Jared nestles in next to him and covers up too. “Thinking caps are going to be required,” he jokes as he rests his head on Jensen’s chest. “Hey nothing helps brain cells more than food,” his stomach growling. “Let’s order some breakfast from room service while we figure this out.”_ _

__“You and your stomach,” Jensen laughs as he digs the room service menu out of the nightstand drawer._ _

__After breakfast they decide to do some sightseeing before going to the Cirque show tonight. They don’t talk much about what needs to be done, it’s mutually agreed that when they get home it can be handled then, so they should just enjoy their last day in Las Vegas._ _

__The last day in Vegas is wonderful and relaxing. It’s a trip to the Hard Rock, a walk along the strip; a visit to the Big Top Stratosphere Tower Rides amusement park, The Ripley’s Believe it or Not Museum and a stop at the Luxor’s Titanic the Artifacts exhibit. They hold hands while sightseeing but other than that they still act like the same best friends they’ve always been._ _

__In the evening they go to the Cirque show which is absolutely fantastic and then they enjoy a fine dining experience at Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant before retiring to their room to relax in the hot tub._ _

__Jared is nestled between Jensen’s legs as they soak in the hot but and drink a bottle of chilled champagne while eating chocolate covered strawberries. “This is absolute honeymoon decadence,” he says biting into a strawberry._ _

__“We deserve the best this weekend has to offer because well, it is my birthday bash plus honeymoon,” he chuckles._ _

____

 

__ _ _

____

  
[part4](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/21110.html)   



	4. If I only had all of you, Part4

  


When they arrive in Dallas the next day the one big question on their lips is, what now?

Jensen goes back to his house and Jared to his apartment but they both know that it will be Jared moving into the house as soon as possible.

Jared’s phone is ringing before he even gets the front door open to his apartment, it’s Jensen. “Hey, miss me already?”

“Always,” he laughs. “But that’s not what this is about. I have an idea about telling our parents.”

“Do tell.”

“Let’s throw a really huge party, basically a wedding reception and when we call the parents we’ll lead off with, so we are having this huge gathering to celebrate our marriage.”

“I think that is going to work Jen. How can they be mad at us if we have a wedding reception and they get to share in our special moment anyway?”

“I know and we can do the ring exchange then too so they feel more like they have experienced our wedding.”

“Excellent idea,” he’s very enthused about the whole thing.

“I knew you’d like it,” Jensen laughs. “So when should we have this overpriced shin dig?”

“Think we could pull it together in a few weeks?”

“No reason why we couldn’t. Besides my secretary Danneel can help make some of the calls and set things up if we need her to,” he hopes she will anyway because she can be a bit, well, bitchy to say the least if he asks more of her than she thinks he should.

“Cool, I’ll figure some things out and let her know if we need her,” Jared’s already thinking about venues and cake.

When Jared calls his parents late that night he does lead off with the statement that he and Jensen want to invite them to a huge party celebrating their marriage. They are stunned to say the least but when Jared explains what happened and how much they really do want the family with them to celebrate, they are more than happy to share it with them. Sherry wants to help plan so Jared gives her the chore of inviting the immediate family and helping him find a cake, she is overjoyed with the job.

Jensen picks Jared up and they drive over to Jensen’s parents since the only way his mother is going to accept this is to be talking to him face to face when she’s told.

She takes it surprisingly well and wants to help do things, so like with Sherry’s job, Jensen gives her the job of inviting the immediate family and helping to find a venue. She accepts her job and asks Jared if Sherry knows yet. “Yes ma’am, my momma knows, she’s inviting the family and going to help me with the cake,” he tells her.

“I am going to call her; she might want to go with me to find a place to have it.”

“I am sure she would,” he’s so glad everyone is coming together like family should.

 

They have a nice dinner with Jensen’s family before heading back to Dallas. On the ride home Jensen wants to discuss Jared’s moving in.

“So when do you think you’ll be moving in,” he slips it into the conversation.

“Whenever you’re ready, I thought maybe you might want me to wait so you can sow your wild oats some more,” he’s fishing to see if Jensen still wants to continue having one night stands at the house.

“Do you want me to bring men home to our bed,” he’s pretty sure the answer is no, but with this unorthodox marriage, it could be yes and he’d have to be fine with it.

“Not really. As a matter of fact I’d prefer not to know about your dates or have them paraded in front of me at any time.”

“I figured as much,” he’s kind of relieved because an open marriage he can handle, a swinging one, he’s not so sure. “What about you and your dates?”

“I doubt I’ll have any but if I do, the same goes for me, never in our marital home or bed,” Jared knows dating has been out of the question for him for years.

“Glad there’s no double standard because I want things to be fair and equal with us.”

“Same here,” Jared’s looking out the car window and wishing Jensen didn’t want anyone else but him, but he knows what he’s like, he made no bones about it when they made the pact so he can’t expect him to change for him.

When Jared goes back to work on Wednesday he tells Genevieve about the quickie wedding.

“So,” he says leading her on.

“I’ll play your silly game Jared, so, what,” she continues to put books on the shelf beside him.

“I’m going to have to file papers for a new name,” he’s toying with her.

“And why is that,” she looks up at him from the floor like a light bulb came on over her head. “You didn’t,” she stands up and pokes him in the chest.

“Yup, we did it. I am now Jared Tristan Padalecki Ackles, or well when I petition for Ackles I will be Padalecki Ackles,” he expects her to be happy for him but she pokes him again.

“You know what he’s like, why Jared, why? He’s going to break your overly sensitive heart,” she’s almost in a fit of anguish. She grabs his hand and looks for a ring. “Where’s your ring Mr. Husband, was he too cheap to buy one?”

“It all happened so fast, we are going to exchange them during our wedding party in two weeks.”

“Oh so a quickie wedding in Las Vegas, no ring, and what, you’re still living in your efficiency apartment, right?”

“I’m moving in this week and it’s a studio apartment,” he puts the last book on the shelf.

“Is he still going to date other people because that was part of the clause right, open marriage, free to date other men?” She’s livid with Jared for making what she feels is a terrible mistake. “Did he even tell you he loves you; was it in the vows he said to you?”

“We didn’t actually have vows, it was more of a shortened version of the traditional ceremony,.”

“How shortened,” she asks sternly.

“Basically, I now pronounce you husbands. Gen, it doesn’t matter, I love him and I know somewhere in his heart he must feel something for me too, something deeper than just friendship,” he walks over to the counter to get more books.

“I can’t deal with you; you’re in your own little world of denial. He’s going to break your heart in the end and I am done warning you,” she turns away from him, her ponytail swaying from the quick jerking of her head.

“Just listen…” he doesn’t get to finish because Genevieve interrupts him.

“I’m going to lunch,” she waves her hand in his face as she walks away.

“It’s nine fifteen in the morning,” he says trying to convince her to stay.

“Lunch,” is all she says as she keeps walking to the back. She just keeps going even when a customer tries to hail her for assistance.

When Jensen arrives at work Danneel is typing something on the computer, she smiles at him from beneath her cat eye rimmed glasses before stopping to hand him a stack of mail and manila colored envelopes. “Six appointments and twelve manuscripts,” she says dryly.

“Thanks,” he’s looking at her sheepishly.

“Thanks? You never say thanks when I give you your schedule. Usually it’s, how can I get out of a few appointments and where’s Jim, he can read a few of these manuscripts for me. What’s going on with you Jensen?” she takes off her glasses and turns to face him completely.

“Nothing,” he picks up the manuscripts.

“I’ve known you too long,” she says taking the manuscripts from his hands. “Sit,” she points to the leather chair in front of her desk.

“I married Jared while we were in Vegas for my birthday,” he doesn’t look up at her just fiddles with the envelopes in his hands.

She looks him up and down and purses her red lips before saying anything. “And you want out of it?”

He looks up with earnest surprise at her words. “No, no, I don’t want out of it,” he shakes his head with all sincerity. “I am worried I can’t be what Jared wants in a husband.”

“What do think he expects from you,” she narrows her eyes while raising her eyebrow.

“I don’t know, he wants me to be me but me isn’t a husband. Me is a playboy who dates a different man every week, takes home one night stands and owns stock in the condom and lube companies. I’m afraid that isn’t enough for him, he doesn’t deserve that.”

She sits up tall in her seat and takes a deep breath. “Jared knows exactly who you are; he knows what and who he married. He married Jensen Ackles, the man he has known for years, the man he is best friends with, really no one knows you better. Well, except for me of course,” she smirks. “You are not letting him down, if he didn’t want to do it, he wouldn’t have.”

“We were drunk,” he says sheepishly.

“Were you,” she questions suspiciously. “I have never known you to be so incoherent that you would get married, or trust me, you would have had several husbands by now with the guys who’ve been eyeing you up here,” she smirks.

“I was drunk but, yeah, I knew what I was doing,” he confesses.

“Then don’t sit here talking to me about things, straighten everything out with Jared. He’s the man you married. Now, which appointments should I reschedule, and I’ll find Jim to saddle with a few of those manuscripts.”

When Jensen meets Jared for their usual lunch date at the diner he’s got a small blue box in his pocket. After they order he pulls the velveteen box out and sets it in the middle of the table.

“What’s in the box,” Jared asks with a mouthful of turkey club sandwich.

Jensen sort of spins it with his fingertips. “Your ring,” he says pushing it closer to Jared.

Jared wipes his mouth and fingers off and reaches for it. “Oh, can I see it,” he already has it in his hands and is opening the box.

Inside is a thick band made of platinum with a thin yellow gold ridge in the middle. “Jesus Jen, it’s fucking gorgeous,” he exclaims before putting it on and admiring it on his hand.

“I thought you might like that one, it’s not engraved yet and I just kind of guessed at the size but I wanted you to see it before I took it back for the extras,” he smiles at Jared’s enthusiasm.

“It fits perfect,” he gushes like a school girl.

“And it looks really good on your finger too,” Jensen says taking his hand and holding it in the light so that the two different shades of gold glisten. “You can either get me the matching band or you can pick one of your own for me,” Jensen says slipping the ring off of Jared’s finger and putting it back in the box.

“I have a ring; it was my grandfather Padalecki’s band, not his wedding band but it’s a family heirloom ring. He gave it to me or actually left it to me because I always admired it. Its thick yellow gold with thin diamond cuts along the outside. It’s been in the family for a long, long time. I think it’s very appropriate for this occasion.”

Jensen doesn’t know what to say, his eyes actually tear up when he thinks about the significance of the ring Jared wants to put on his finger. “I don’t know what to say Jared,” he’s a little bit speechless.

“You don’t have to say anything, just accept it as my gift to you and our union,” he takes Jensen’s hand and strokes his ring finger. “We’ll probably have to get it sized because papa Padalecki was a much larger man,” he laughs.

Things are still quiet since Genevieve stays in the back all day avoiding Jared; she even slips out the back door after her shift.

After work Jared decides he needs some cheering up so he calls his mother to go cake hunting, there is nothing that cake and frosting can’t fix. “So, cakes,” he says cheerfully.

“Oh hon, I’m going with Donna to look at a few places for the party. I’m sorry, she called me last night and I said yes,” she’s very apologetic.

“It’s okay, I’ll just call one of my girl friends or maybe even Jensen and we can go scoping out bakeries. But don’t blame me if I gain twenty pounds in a few days,” he laughs.

He calls Jensen to see if he wants to go cake hunting. “Hey, want to go cake tasting with me tonight?”

“I can’t, I’m going with my mom and Sherry to look at two places mom found for the party, plus they both do in house catering so no outsourcing. Why don’t you ask Gen, maybe she’ll go with you,” he offers this advice.

He doesn’t want to tell Jensen about Gen’s attitude toward their marriage. “I think she’s busy tonight,” is all he says about it.

“Okay, tomorrow night then, me, you and an enormous sugar high, I’ll pencil it in.”

“I’m working late tomorrow plus packing because the movers come on Friday,” he says disheartened.

“Can’t you go taste a few today by yourself?”

He takes a deep sigh. “Yes. Have fun looking at the party halls.”

“I’ll take pictures and make sure beef is on the menu,” Jensen chuckles.

“K, give your mom a hug for me,” he also quietly adds, “Love you,” before they hang up.

“Don’t stuff yourself with cake, one bite of each and no chocolate icing,” he thinks about saying I love you but then chokes. “Have fun buddy,” he feels lame telling his husband to have fun buddy, _I’m so fucking lame_ , he thinks as he hangs up.

 

Jared weighs his options and then decides to call Gen and see if she will go with him to find a cake. He dials her number, it goes to voicemail, he hangs up and dials again, and it goes to voicemail yet again. He decides to dial one more time, it rings and she answers.

“I let it go to voicemail for a reason Jared,” she barks at him.

“I know you’re pissed at me, I know you don’t agree with me but you’re my best friend, I want you to come to my reception and be there for me, for us,” he hopes she sees his point.

 

“I’m far from pissed at you Jared; I just don’t want you to get hurt. I like Jensen, I really do, I just don’t think he is going to change like you’re pretending he will.”

“I am under no delusions that he is going to change anything for me,” he says defensively.

She sighs loudly. “If you are willing to accept his philandering ways then who am I to stand in the way of true love,” she is being sarcastic.

“I do love him and your sarcastic view of it isn’t going to change my mind,” Jared’s in a bit of a huff.

“And I accept it, I just don’t want to have to be there when you come crying to me.”

“Oh don’t worry I won’t cry to you,” he says before hanging up the phone.

It’s only a few minutes until his phone rings and Gen appears on the caller ID, he considers putting it to ignore but answers instead. “Yeah,” he’s being curt with her.

“Did you hang up on me,” she asks with astonishment.

“Yeah, what about it,” he’s dry and unconnected.

“You’ve never hung up on me.”

“First time for everything,” his feelings are very hurt.

“Come get me, I want to be part of this cake tasting thing.” She knows she hurt his feelings and feels very bad about it, wants to make it right with him and support him.

“You don’t have to be part of anything, you don’t approve of us,” Jared makes an actual huffing sound.

“Jared, come get me, I want to be here for you, help you, and be part of your life. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, I only want you to be happy and if Jensen is making you happy, then so be it, let me help you pick out a cake,” her voice has softened and is very apologetic.

Jared thinks about it for second, the awkward silence is almost deafening as Gen waits for him to say something.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a few minutes,” he’s ecstatic that she’s open to his happiness now, and is willing to accept the wedding and be part of their celebration.

It’s a tiny bakery in mid town next to Dog Eared where they start first.

“You know I have to try their cakes cause their cinnamon rolls are to die for,” Jared gushes as they walk through the door.

“MMM, you know I love the cinnamon rolls,” she says patting her tummy.

Jared explains that he needs a cake for a party of about 25 to possibly 40 people by the next weekend. They inform him they can accept that challenge as long it’s not too ornate.

They bring out four different slices of cake, orange crème, vanilla bean, coffee, and chocolate supreme. Jared falls hopelessly in love with the orange crème. “Oh My God, this orange one is delicious,” he takes a forkful and holds it to Gen’s mouth.

She eats it slowly savoring the flavor; Jared watches her expectantly waiting for her response.

“This is really, really good. Not too orange, just right. I think my mouth is in love with this cake,” she exclaims.

“This is the cake I want,” he asks for a piece for Jensen to taste too. He goes ahead and orders the cake. Triple layer with French vanilla butter cream icing. He picks out a simple design of orange and yellow roses on the top and bottom layer and two grooms on the top. He texts Jensen. “I have cake!!”

Meanwhile Jensen, Donna and Sherry are at a local club that offers a reception hall. It’s big enough for their group of people, a substantial dance floor and in house catering. It offers in house DJ but Steve and Chris will be the band for the evening so no need for that.

“What do you offer for your menu,” Jensen asks scoping out the venue.

“We have a rather large selection and we’ve prepared some samples of our regular requests if you’d like to try them.” Jensen agrees.

They bring out several plates of food. Roast, salmon, a lamb dish, and a variety of sides.

They taste all of them and Jensen already knows roast is definitely on the menu for Jared. He likes the salmon and so does his mom.

“Honey, definitely the salmon as your second choice,” she says finishing the few bites.

“I agree the salmon is delicious. But we better choose the beef roast as an option, you know Jared, beef eater,” Sherry says laughing.

He makes his request for the menu and gets a sample of Roast and salmon for Jared to try.

“We serve it buffet style so we only need to know how many guests so we know how much of each to prepare.

“Right now 12 confirmed,” Sherry says.

“We have 23 confirmed,” Donna adds.

“I think we’ll have about 12 or 13 friends who will be coming,” Jensen says.

“So we’ll prepare for 50 maximum and if there are more, we need at least 48hrs advance notice,” the coordinator says.

“Not a problem,” Jensen says handing her a check for the reservation amount.

 

Jensen texts Jared back, “I have the hall and the food, let’s meet at the house and exchange experiences.”

On the drive back to the house Jared realizes that on Friday this will be his drive home, he smiles a little at the thought of driving home every night after work to their home. Two words he never thought he would ever actually use when talking about Jensen and himself, their home.

Jensen kisses his mother good-bye before she drives off with Sherry, they’re laughing as the car pulls out of the driveway. He sees Jared’s car parked in front of the garage and he smiles, his heart fills a little with the thought that every night when he comes home, that car, his beat up old Volkswagen is going to be sitting in his driveway. It’s a comforting feeling really, to know the house isn’t empty, food might be cooking and the lights will definitely be on.

Jared has the table set with two plates and the slice of cake is in the middle, there are stem glasses with wine in them and a green salad just waiting to be devoured.

“Fancy, I usually eat in front of the tv,” Jensen puts the container of food on the counter.

“This is a dinner occasion, I am going to eat my wedding dinner sampler with my husband,” he leans over and kisses Jensen on the cheek.

“On the cheek,” Jensen exclaims. He grabs Jared and pulls him into a more appropriate marital kiss. “Chaste is for virgins and old married couples. Neither of us are virgins and we’re newlyweds,” he laughs pulling Jared in for another full mouth kiss.

“Yes sir,” Jared returns the kiss with tender passion.

Jared eats his meal, sharing the tiny sample with Jensen, feeding it to him off of his plate and when he’s finished he feeds him the piece of cake, stealing several bites for himself.

Jensen touches his belly and makes a contented humming sound. “That cake is amazing, just the perfect amount of orange,” he licks his lips while running his finger over the Styrofoam plate to get the icing dregs.

 

“I can’t say you did a bad job picking the meal either. That salmon is absolutely fantastic and the roast is perfection. I loved the little finger potatoes in the white wine sauce, oh and the green beans with bacon and red bell pepper, superb,” he kisses his fingertips as a show of appreciation and delight.

 

 

Jared spends a lot of time packing his things. He leaves his furniture all but his over stuffed reading chair, bookshelf and Tiffany lamp. He hates to say good-bye to anything but Jensen’s home is fully stocked. He wrangles the lesser used guest room for his personal library where he’ll put up his shelf, chair and lamp for some personal reading time.

Thursday arrives faster than Jensen expects it too. The carpenters arrive to get Jared’s surprise ready. “Now I want this entire wall made into a bookshelf from ceiling to floor,” he says showing the men what he wants. He leaves them to their work.

When they leave four hours later, Jensen is pleased with the shelf unit they have built. He can’t wait for tomorrow when Jared moves in to surprise him with it.

 

  
[part5](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/21401.html)   



	5. If I only had all of you, Part5

  


It’s Friday morning and the few things Jared has to move are loaded into the small sized U-haul truck he rented. He looks at his apartment one last time and says good-bye to it.

The drive to Jensen’s is short but feels like it takes forever. Genevieve is curled up on the passenger side looking out the window.

“I’m going to have to take the 405 to come visit you now,” she informs Jared.

He looks over at her. “You never came to visit me before, why would you start now,” he questions.

“I might, you never know, now that the sofa won’t smell like feet or have that gross spaghetti stain on the cushions,” she crinkles up her nose.

“Hey, it didn’t smell like feet and that stain wasn’t my fault, the Spurs had no business missing that free throw on spaghetti night,” he smiles at her.

“All the same, I might drop in from time to time,” she smiles a very mischievous smile.

Jared and Jensen move almost everything in while Genevieve watches from the chair in the back of the truck.

“Time for the chair Gen,” he smiles at her.

“Jared said I could ride it into the house,” she looks at him from under her long black eyelashes.

“Did he now,” he looks back at Jared who is climbing up on the truck.

“Time to move Gen,” Jared says pulling her out of the seat.

“Oh pooh,” she protests.

Jensen laughs. “I thought he said you could ride it into the house?”

“I was paraphrasing,” she jumps off the tailgate of the truck.

Jared looks confused. “Huh?”

“She acts like a child sometimes,” Jensen says picking up one end of the chair.

“It’s only because she doesn’t want me to move in, she’ll get over it, she always does.”

They carry the chair up the stairs and down the hall and when Jared opens up the door he’s greeted with the huge bookshelf wall.

“When,” he says looking at Jensen.

“Yesterday,” Jensen says smiling at Jared.

Jared stares at the wall for a few minutes. “Thank you,” he says with tears in his eyes.

“You are most very welcome, anything for the joy of my husband,” Jensen says squeezing Jared’s arm lovingly.

 

Jared unpacks his bags and boxes, fills up six of the 20 something shelves of his book case with his entire library. He hangs his clothes in his half of Jensen’s bedroom closet and gets hell for not putting his shoes on the shoe shelves. “Dude they are sneakers,” protesting doesn’t work; Jensen is a neat freak about his clothes closet. He relents and organizes.

Dinner is Chinese take out, dessert a piece of strawberry pie and half a can of whipped topping on it. Jared starts to spray the whipped cream can into his mouth but gets a dirty look from Jensen. “What, its spray cream,” he whines. “We did this all the time in college.”

“We aren’t in college anymore Jay,” Jensen’s taking the can away from him.

“Stuffed shirt,” he sulks.

It’s midnight when the last movie ends; Jensen is passed out across Jared’s lap. “Come on Jen, bed time,” Jared shakes him awake.

“What time is it?” he asks sleepily while rubbing his eyes.

“Midnight,” Jared stretches before standing up.

They head upstairs to bed but Jared keeps going down the hall even after Jensen stops at the bedroom door.

“Where ya going?” he asks Jared.

“To bed,” he replies.

“Okay but the bedroom is right here,” he points at the open door.

“I’m going to the guest room.”

“And why,” Jensen is confused.

“Because we aren’t sleeping together until after the reception next weekend,” he starts back down the hall again.

“I never said that Jay. Just because we haven’t actually consummated the marriage yet doesn’t mean I don’t want you to sleep in our marital bed. You are actually my husband and I want you in my bed with me,” Jensen is adamant about his feelings on the subject.

“But I thought.”

“Never mind what you thought, get down here and lets go to bed, I’m tired,” he opens the door and waves him down the hall. Jared obeys.

They strip down and climb into bed; Jensen snuggles in close, puts his arm around Jared’s waist and kisses his shoulder. “Night,” he says groggily.

Jared smiles at the touch and puts his hand over Jensen’s entwining their fingers. “Night,” he pushes back into Jensen’s body and drifts off to sleep.

The weekend goes relatively fast. Jared works Saturday and Jensen catches up on the manuscript that he blew off to take Friday off work.

Sunday is uneventful except for the large amount of cuddling on the sofa while watching the sports center channel, it really doesn’t matter what is on because they are just enjoying each others company. Jared cooks steaks on the grill and Jensen tries his hand at baking a blueberry cobbler, it fails aesthetically but tastes wonderful. When night time rolls in, they are back in their bed together, snuggling tight into each others arms, falling off into blissful slumber.

Jensen has never felt as refreshed as he does this Monday morning. Usually he’s exhausted from a weekend of partying and man whoring. He’s usually dragging his butt through his office door as Danneel gives him that look from under those black horn rimmed glasses she loves to wear, they make her look like a naughty school teacher so the disapproving look is far more effective than one might think.

“Morning Jensen,” she says standing up to hand him paperwork. She smiles at him. “You look well rested.”

“Danee,” he smiles back and takes the file folders. “I do believe I am, more rested.”

“It’s nice to see Jared agrees with your constitution,” she sits back down to resume her work.

Jensen just smiles and closes his office door. He’s happy, rested and ready for the day, but rather than work he’d love to be spending more time with Jared.

The first thing he does is shoot off a few texts to Chris and Steve about playing the wedding reception party.

Steve texts back. **_Dude what are you talking about?_**

**_Jay and I got hitched in Vegas. LSS we are having our party here for the family, do you wanna play it?_ **

**_Fuck yeah & congrats to u 2, it’s about time._ **

Chris texts Jensen later that morning. **_Oh hell Yeah, I’ll be there with bells on. Steve told me the story, Vegas huh, good thing we didn’t go too lol. Txt me deets and I’ll be there._**

He’s already texted some other close friends to join them in celebrating and by the end of the day he’s gotten positive responses and confirmations to join them. Jensen is a happy man.

When Jared walks in Monday morning Genevieve stares at him. She can tell he’s happier, more relaxed than usual. “Did you lose your virginity,” she jokes.

Jared bats his eyelashes and puts on a fake girlish voice. “Why yes, yes I did, how could you ever tell,” he pushes at his hair.

“Oh it might be that special glow you have around you, or dare I say it, are you pregnant,” she continues to tease.

“I highly doubt that because we always use protection and, shhh don’t tell anyone but I’m a….. man,” he covers his mouth like he just told a huge secret.

She makes her eyes big and gasps. “A man!” she exclaims. “How did I not know this,” she’s laughing.

“Maybe because I hide it so well and I’ve never showed you my huge penis,” he covers his mouth like he’s shocked that he said it before bursting out in laughter.

“Shouldn’t you be off this week or something,” she’s being more serious.

“Why?”

“Umm, your having your wedding reception on Saturday, aren’t there things to do, tuxes to rent, music to set up all that kind of crap that goes along with getting married,” she arches her eyebrow and purses her mouth sternly.

“Let’s see, to do check list. Hall, done. Food, done. Music, Jensen is handling it but, done. Cake, definitely done,” he licks his lips. “Not sure if we are going to wear tuxes or not so on the back burner for now. Ring, bought. Guests, invited and confirmations received,” he rolls his eyes like he’s thinking hard. “Nope everything seems to be done.”

“Wow, lucky you, no bridezillas here but then again a Vegas Wedding Chapel ceremony isn’t really high stress preparation either,” she gives him an impish grin.

“Oh now, you just stop that,” he quips making a very over emphasized queeny expression and voice.

“Seriously, this is like your big day and all, why aren’t you off work?”

“I don’t need to be off work, it’s just a party to announce our wedding,” he thinks about it for a second. “It seems surreal to say our wedding, maybe I’m saying it wrong,” he gets all excited and yells. “Our Wedding!” he calms down again. “Yeah I got nothing.”

 

“You know you’re all flippity floppity inside,” she pokes his belly.

“Not really, I mean, I have what I want now. I’m content to just be with Jensen for the rest of my life. I married my best friend, who could ask for anything more,” he smiles and pecks Genevieve on the forehead. “Now back to work, oh wait you’re my manager.”

“Then back to work, slave,” she hands him a box of books to shelve.

 

There are very few things to get ready as their mothers have taken over almost completely handling the affair. Jensen and Jared get a text from Donna. _**Baker’s tuxedo shop at 930am Wed for your tux fitting, no excuses.**_

When they arrive Wednesday morning at the tuxedo shop they expect to see their mothers but instead they just meet Gerard who fits them with fabulous matching tuxedo styles.

When Jared comes out of the dressing room in his Navy blue Tux suit with shiny silver blue skinny tie Jensen almost falls over. He’s never seen him look so debonair.

Jensen chooses the black tux suit with silver skinny tie. Jared is awestruck when he comes out of the dressing room. He would swear that his eyes would have hearts in them if he were a cartoon character.

They oversleep on Thursday morning, due to the fact that they were up all night helping to bundle up the favors for the table settings.

Jared is like a chicken with his head cut off since he’s to open the store this morning. He runs around with his wet hair splashing everywhere. He hits Jensen with it as he’s running past him to find his keys.

“Damn, you’re like a dog, a huge shaggy dog,” he wipes the wetness off of the side of his face.

“I can’t help it, I’m late and the store needs opened in half an hour,” he scurries out the front door.

Jensen just smiles at the frantic behavior as he rushes out behind him. “Hey,” he says grabbing Jared’s arm before he gets into the car. “Have a good day,” he kisses him on the lips.

Surprised and delighted by the sudden burst of public affection he returns the kiss. “You too,” he’s smiling, his eyes are twinkling and he can’t hide his obvious affection for his husband.

Friday the butterflies kick in, Jared insists on sleeping in the guest bed, his argument has something to do with bad wedding karma to see your betrothed before the wedding. Jensen reminds him that they are already married but Jared refuses to hear him and goes off to the guest room.

After tossing and turning for a few hours he decides that reading will help soothe his nerves and help him sleep.

Jensen is restless too; he misses Jared’s warmth and goes to seek it out. He knows he’ll protest but he refuses to let any of his pointless arguments keep him from being in Jared’s arms tonight. When he finds he’s not in bed he notices the light on in his library and pads down the hall to see what’s happening.

He opens the door to find Jared sound asleep in his overstuffed chair, feet up, heavy book on his chest and softly snoring. He can’t help but chuckle at the sight; he closes the door and goes back to his own bed, alone.

 

When the limo arrives on Saturday Jared is nowhere to be found, Jensen calls his cell.

“Hello,” Jared answers.

“Where the hell are you,” Jensen asks in a panic.

“Driving to the reception hall.”

“That is what the limo is for Jared, we are supposed to arrive together in the limo,” he’s upset and clenching his jaw.

“Just get in the limo and get over here, I’ll be waiting and we’ll enter together,” Jared says calmly.

“Fine, but if this is your stupid karma thing again, it isn’t at all amusing,” he hangs up the phone and informs the driver to go to the hall.

 

When Jensen arrives Jared is waiting on the steps of the hall, Jensen sees him when they pull in and he grumbles with frustration.

Jensen opens the door to the limo and Jared jumps in shoving Jensen over. “Now sit still,” he says breathlessly. He quickly pulls out a red rose boutonnière and pins it to Jensen’s lapel. “It’s manlier than a bouquet and better than a wrist corsage,” he kisses Jensen on the cheek.

“Is this why you left without me,” he’s confused and notices Jared’s white boutonniere.

“I ordered them yesterday from the florist and had to pick them up today, it was a surprise for you.”

“Then I guess I forgive you,” he kisses Jared on the cheek. He takes a deep breath. “I guess it’s time to greet our guests,” he says taking Jared’s hand.

They enter the hall, hands clasped as they walk down the three steps into the reception area. Everyone is looking at them, they stop at the bottom and wave and the wedding march starts to play. They walk down the center aisle to the dance floor where a mic is set up and Jensen clears his throat.

“Thank you all for coming, we didn’t want to surprise you with our _surprise wedding_ but to be honest, it was a surprise to us too.” Jared leans in and agrees. “It totally was.”

“We decided that we would do our ring exchange with all of you since we didn’t have the bands in Vegas, we thought it only appropriate to share this experience with all of our loved ones,” he turns to face Jared. He pulls out the ring from his pocket and holds it out.

Jared blushes and then pulls out the ring from his breast pocket, he fumbles with the box a little because of his nerves but then holds out the shining ring.

Someone runs out with an extra microphone and puts it in front of Jared.

“I guess I’ll start,” Jared laughs. “Jensen, I know that we’ve been friends for going on 10 years now, I know that seems like forever sometimes,” he laughs. “But seriously, 8 years ago I couldn’t see you not being part of my life and today as I stand here, I can’t ever see myself not wanting be part of our life together. I guess what I am saying is, to marry my best friend is probably the greatest gift of my life and I want to share every day of this gift with you,” he takes Jensen’s hand and puts the ring on his left ring finger.

“Wow, Jared that was so touching,” Jensen says taking a deep breath. “When we met I never expected to be anything more than your freshman RA but then I got to know this really sweet guy who loves poetry and books,” _and has a really kinky side too_ , he thinks it but doesn’t dare say it. “He has a heart of gold and a sense of humor that makes me double over laughing. I love this man, my friend, and now my husband. It doesn’t matter how we got here, how it all happened one dark and hot Vegas night, okay morning.” Everyone laughs. “What matters is that we are here, in front of our family and friends to exchange rings that vow our partnership to each other, in sickness and health and in good times and bad,” he takes Jared’s hand and slips the ring on his finger. “Together,” he says before lifting up and kissing Jared.

Everyone claps as Jensen and Jared turn to face them and hold their clasped hands up in a show of their union. “Now, I’m starving, let’s eat, dance and get drunk,” Jensen says.

The food is wonderful, the cake is beautiful and Jensen and Jared couldn’t be happier. Steve and Chris announce the start of the wedding dance and call Jensen and Jared to the floor.

“Come on guys, this is your dance,” he’s clapping for them as they walk onto the dance floor. “We’ve picked a very special song to play for these two love birds, Sugarland’s Love,” he steps back and starts to play his guitar.

Jared takes Jensen in his arms and pulls him close wrapping his arms around his waist, letting Jensen hold on to his shoulders as they start to sway. Jensen’s looking up into Jared’s eyes as their hips move in unison to the soft gravel of Steve and Chris’ voices. The rhythm takes them into another place as everyone disappears until all that is left is the music and them. Jensen’s fingers play with the soft hair at the base of Jared’s neck as Jared holds him impossibly close.

When their concentration is broken by the sound of clapping it feels like the dance went on forever, to the point where they didn’t even realize there was anyone besides them in the universe.

As the night goes on the champagne flows, the dancing makes Jared sweat so profusely that he sheds his jacket and tie. Jensen worries that the rental is going to charge them for extra cleaning. The constant tapping of crystal glassware chimes the signal for them to kiss again, they do so without protest.

The time for them to leave is here and Jared is more than ready to take his husband home to their bed. “I’m ready Jen,” he whispers into his ear.

Jensen smiles at him. “So am I,” he goes up and tells Steve they’re leaving now. They kiss their parents good-bye, hugs all around the family table and hand shakes as they make their way to the back of the room. They stop at the doors and give a very passionate kiss before waving to everyone and exiting.

Guests hurry to the doors so they can throw rose petals at them as they duck into the waiting limo.

 

The limo ride home gives them time to relax a little bit, cool down from the nights activities.

When they get to the house they stumble inside, kicking off shoes and stripping jackets. Jared pushes Jensen into the wall and claims his mouth with a needy kiss. “I’ve been wanting this all night,” he growls breathlessly into Jensen’s mouth.

 

Jensen returns the kiss, his hands shoving at Jared’s slacks, fumbling with the button to get them off of his hips. “Fuck, is this your chastity belt,” he jokes as he gets them off of Jared’s hips down to mid thigh. Jared’s hard on is thick against his boxers as Jensen strokes roughly over it a wet spot already forming at the top.

“Upstairs or here,” Jared moans.

Jensen thinks about it for a second. “Here,” it’s impetuous and nontraditional for a wedding night deflowering, but then again, neither of them are flowers, so it’s all fair game.

Shoving Jared backwards onto the loveseat Jensen straddles him. It’s far too tiny for Jared’s body; it’s awkward as his long legs still trapped by his trousers hang over the edge. Jensen’s knees are buried in the sofa cushions as he rips at his own slacks desperately trying to get them off of his hips. His hard cock falls forward just inches from Jared’s mouth. He takes it, licks a long wet flat tongued stripe up the center sending Jensen into virtual convolutions from the pleasure.

It’s been almost a month since either have had sex and tonight is going to be damned hot, Jensen is sure of that.

Jared’s lips close around the head of Jensen’s cock; they suck and pulse as his tongue flutters under the thick ridge and dances along the sensitive flesh. “Jesus Jay,” Jensen moans. His hands grasping for Jared’s head, hands filling with strands of soft long locks to hold on to. “Yeah, so fucking good.”

As Jared swallows as much of Jensen as he can, in his current position he can’t get any friction for himself, Jensen’s hands are on his head and he wants some attention on his cock. He’s sloppily bobbing and sucking, his tongue is lapping along the shaft of Jensen’s thick cock and he’s enjoying every second of it but he needs more. He pulls off with a pop while Jensen gives minor protest in the form of a grunt and moan. “Jen, we need a better position,” he’s begging.

“Fine,” he hauls himself off of Jared’s body, kicks over the coffee table and drags Jared onto the floor with a thud. He rips his trousers off along with his boxers and rucks up his shirt. “Much better access now,” he chuckles.

Jared loves the feeling of Jensen taking control, ripping his clothes off and dominating him. He pulls at Jensen’s shirt and some of the buttons fly off. “Ooops, they are gonna charge us for them,” it doesn’t stop him from ripping the rest of the buttons off as he yanks the shirt from his shoulders exposing Jensen’s hard body. He rakes his nails over Jensen’s hard pecs making sure to scratch over his nipples on the way to his abdomen.

Jensen finagles his slacks and boxers off without breaking Jared’s touches, he’s naked now all but his black socks and straddling Jared’s hips again. He reaches around and softly strokes Jared’s cock eliciting guttural moans from Jared. Jensen loves to make him come undone, watch him go insane with just minor touches and Jared always pleases.

Their mouths come together in a heated kiss as Jensen slips over Jared’s body lining their cocks up and rutting into him. Their tongues tangle as their cocks slip roughly over each other. It’s hot and passionate with just a hint of dirty.

Jared’s hand snakes between them and grasps their cocks, he starts to stroke lightly, his hand catching the two heads and twisting slightly before slipping down the shafts again.

“I want to fuck you,” Jensen growls in Jared’s ear, “Fuck you so deep you’ll feel it for days.”

Jared shudders with excitement at the thought, his hips buck faster as he hangs on tight to Jensen’s shoulder. “Fuck me, take me,” he begs.

“I’ll be right back.” Jensen disappears up the stairs and when he returns he’s holding a bottle of lube and a condom. He pulls Jared’s legs up and damn near bends him in half positioning his ass on his chest and throws his legs over his shoulders. “I’m going to lick you open,” he proclaims just before swiping his tongue over Jared’s tight hole.

Jared clutches the leg of the overturned coffee table, his legs shake from the extreme pleasure shooting through his body and all he can do is gasp for air as he tries to cry out.

Jensen smiles at the reaction, swirls his tongue around the rough ring and over the tiny opening. He circles it a few times before wiggling just past the thin ring and corkscrewing it open wider. He feels the muscle relax as Jared bucks into him, starts to rant incoherent phrases as he pounds his fist on the side of the couch with each excruciating pleasure filled movement.

Jared’s cock is twitching and leaking, his ass is flexing with the wet warm brushes of Jensen’s tongue and he wonders if anyone has ever gone insane from pleasure or will he be the very first.

Switching Jared’s hips and laying him on the floor he flips him over so he’s on his belly. He puts on the condom and slicks up his hard cock then slowly pushes against the opening of Jared’s ass. He circles it, slips up and down the crack with the head smearing lube and precome all over it. Jared pushes his ass up a little bit more begging for entrance but Jensen just continues to tease him. He rubs the head of his cock over the thin seam from his hole to his balls and then squeezes Jared’s balls gently.

“Just fuck me right now,” Jared says, his cock is so hard it’s painful against the rough grain of the carpeting.

Relenting to Jared’s begging he focuses his attentions on Jared’s hole again. He pushes in slowly, breaching the rim making Jared moan and swivel his hips a little more. He sinks in deeper pulling Jared’s ass up, putting him on his knees so that he can thrust inside and get balls deep. He sinks in until he’s tight against Jared’s cheeks and then he smacks them sending shock waves through Jared like he was hit by a crack of thunder.

“Oh fuck,” he moans as he clutches at the floor, his nails digging into the carpeting. “Yes,” he groans out in a fit of anguish. “Fuck me Jen, make me come.”

Jensen obeys and starts to move shallowly, barely moving until Jared starts to move with him forcing him to move out more and dive in deeper. He’s rocking on his elbows as he pushes into Jensen, his body arching with each thrust. “Fuck yeah,” he’s moaning. “Take me, make me all yours,” he’s begging more now than he ever has, he can hear it but he doesn’t care, he just wants Jensen to fuck him thoroughly.

Moving in and out, his hips slapping against Jared’s ass Jensen fucks him deep slamming into his swollen prostate. His ass is flexing around Jensen’s cock stroking it, massaging the over sensitized shaft with each fluttering and Jensen can’t hold back, his balls start to tighten with the need to come.

Jared strokes his own cock, as he pushes into Jensen, he can feel Jensen’s fingers digging into his hips as he’s holding on, guiding Jared’s manipulations over him. “Yeah Jen, yeah, I’m gonna…” he lets out a guttural groan as he spills out over his hand.

Jensen picks up the pace; he’s slamming hard into Jared’s tender ass, the smooth friction strokes him over the edge and he comes right behind Jared. His hips stuttering as he makes deep short thrusts as his orgasm courses through him with each spurt of come.

They collapse onto the floor in a panting sweaty mess. Jared’s cheek is smashed into the carpet as Jensen kisses the back of his neck breathlessly. “So fucking hot Jay.” He nuzzles into his shoulder.

“We need to roll over,” Jared mumbles. They roll over. “Ahhhh much better,” he stretches and pulls Jensen in tight to his body. They kiss tenderly, tongues gently swiping as they come down from their high.

“Let’s take this upstairs now,” Jensen requests.

“I am all for that,” Jared stands up and hauls Jensen up with him, they stumble nakedly up the stairs to the bedroom.

 

 

****

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 ****

 

  
[part6](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/21753.html)   



	6. If I only had all of you, Part5

It’s been several months and things are running smoothly. Jensen seems to be content with the life he has now and Jared is settling in nicely to domestic life. Jensen keeps trying to get him to quit his job but he doesn’t want to, he loves his job at the bookstore so he won’t quit.

Jared does most of the cooking and has a meal ready for them almost every night except for Friday which is date night unless Jensen has to work late. Jared knows nothing is ever perfect but this is as close to perfection as he figures he will ever get.

It’s a quick stop at the market for dinner supplies and then home. Jared texts Jensen. _**Is there anything you want from the market, I’m here.**_  
 **Just get a good bottle of wine.**  
 _ **Ok.. see you at home.**_

Jared makes a nice dinner; he opens the bottle of wine and sets it in the center of the table to breathe. He figures since most nights they eat in front of the tv, he should set the table and give the entire dining experience.

When Jensen gets home he meets him at the door. “Hey sweetie,” he says and kisses him on the cheek.

“Something smells really good,” he starts for the living room.

“Grilled chicken and roasted potatoes with peppers and those little pearl onions you like so much.” He catches Jensen by the shoulder. “We’re eating at the table tonight.”

Jensen makes a disgusted face. “Are we having company?”

“No, I just wanted to make you a nice meal, you work so hard all of the time, it’s nice to have a sit down meal,” he says pouring the wine.

“Two months we’ve been married and every night we eat in the living room,” he looks suspiciously at Jared. “Oh My God, you’re pregnant aren’t you?”

“Jensen Ross Ackles.. I can’t get pregnant, ever,” he looks horrified at Jensen’s question.

Jensen starts to laugh a hearty laugh,” I know, just pulling your leg. It just seems like a really special thing to do and not have an agenda behind it,” he plates some salad while Jared puts the hot food on the table.

“Can’t I just want to have a nice civilized meal like two grown men,” he serves up the food.

“I’m sorry babe, this is nice, very adult and smells delicious,” he smiles at Jared before taking a bite of the chicken. “And tastes even better.”

  
**  
  
**   


There isn’t a sign that anything is different, Jensen seems content but it’s the news at dinner one night that puts Jared on edge.

“There’s a new guy at the office, he’s smoking hot,” Jensen says between bites of food.

Jared looks at him with a knit brow. “Really?”

“Yeah, I think he’s into me too because he was asking Dannee if I was taken,” he laughs.

“What did she tell him,” Jared’s heart it racing as he waits for the answer.

“Oh she told him I’m married of course,” he looks at Jared with a smile. 

“Yeah, oh well, sorry she blew it for you,” He doesn’t mean it but he says it anyway, only because of their agreement. He’s actually quite relieved.

“Yeah, well, maybe if he sniffs around me personally, I can give him the straight scoop on us,” Jensen waits for Jared’s response.

He looks down at his food as not to give away his true feelings. “Yeah you can do that,” is all he says before taking another bite of dinner.

It’s not the response he wants but then again there is that agreement they made. “Yeah, maybe,” is all he says before changing the subject to the movie on TV.

  
**  
  
**  


When the new junior editor shows up in Jensen’s office without an appointment Danneel is pretty sure he’s trying to make brownie points or get into her boss’s pants.

“What can I do for you Matt,” she asks in a very pleasant tone.

“Is Mr. Ackles in yet,” he’s fumbling with the pen in his hand.

“Yes he is,” she looks at him from under her glasses.

“May I see him,” he asks very timidly.

“Let me see if he’s busy,” she rings his phone. “Mr. Ackles Matt Cohen is here to see you,” she makes a few affirming noises before hanging up the phone. “You can go in,” she watches him enter the office and then rolls her eyes and thinks about Jared.

When Matt walks in Jensen smiles at him, Matt’s green eyes are smiling right back as is his sexy red mouth, those gorgeous white teeth and that fucking body, oh that fucking chiseled body. _There is no fucking way he wasn’t an athlete in college,_ Jensen thinks to himself. 

“So what can I do you for,” he’s twisting his wedding ring under the desk. He thinks about taking it off but then just leaves it on since Matt already knows he’s married.

“Um,” he stammers. He’s bites his lower lip as he tries hard to think of an actual reason for being here, in the office of the hottest man he’s ever set eyes on. 

“Do you have a reason to be in my office,” Jensen’s pretty sure of the reason but it’s not for professional talk. He’s kind of hoping he falls to his knees and offers up that fuckable mouth. He’s leering; he can feel himself leering at his mouth so he offers him to sit. “Have a seat Matt.”

“In all honesty Mr. Ackles, I didn’t have a reason to come in to see you,” he clears his throat nervously as he sits down and makes direct eye contact with his boss. He notices how green Jensen’s eyes are for the first time. He talked to him four times out in the editing room, noticed the ton of freckles across his face and neck but never saw how green his eyes are. _Fuck, I could get lost in those green eyes,_ he thinks. He can’t break eye contact now; he is actually lost in those sensual green eyes.

Jensen chuckles, he knows what’s happening here, and he’s been on the receiving end of far too many crushes to not know what’s going on. “Just spit it out boy,” he says with authority. 

Matt fumbles with the pen even more now that he’s on the spot and has to confess that he was having fantasies of walking into Jensen’s office, grabbing him by the necktie and French kissing him into oblivion before shoving him against the wall and going down on him right here in his office. He blushes a little bit and tries very hard not to make eye contact since those green eyes will hypnotize him into telling the honest truth and right now, he has to lie his ass off or run out of the room like a chicken shit. 

“Well see,” he starts. “There is this place with really good pasta and I was just wondering,” he makes the mistake of looking up at Jensen who is staring at him like he is fresh meat and it shoots his confidence all to hell. “Maybe you would like to take your clients there for a meal one time, my friend owns it and I can get you a deal,” he finishes it quickly.

“So good pasta huh,” Jensen’s loosening his tie and leaning forward, his voice is two octaves lower for some reason and he’s using his best bedroom eyes. “Maybe we could go to dinner there and I could check it out, solely for professional purposes of course. Unless you were thinking otherwise,” he cocks his eyebrow and gives his famous mischievous smirk that gets all the boys to drop trou for him.

“Uh, but your husband,” he stammers.

“Don’t worry about him, we have an arrangement. I don’t talk about it and he doesn’t ask.”

“Okay, if you’re sure it will be okay,” his confidence is building again.

“Just give me the address and I’ll meet you there after work, let’s say around six,” he stands up and hands him a notepad, their hands brush and Jensen sucks in his lower lip on a smirk.

When Matt leaves Jensen’s office, he’s almost a mass of excitement. He wrote down the restaurant’s name and address. Maria’s, Jensen knows it well, he and Jared had several date nights there since it’s close to the downtown movie theater.

 

Jensen texts Jared. _**Going to dinner with a coworker, won’t be home for dinner.**_   
**Cool I’ll just grab a bite on my way home, have fun. -J**  
 ** _This could be a reason to try the new Thai restaurant and let me know how it is._**  
 **Possibly.** Jared wants to ask who the coworker is, wonders if it’s the new guy Matt who he thinks is smoking hot. **Who’s the client?** , he asks innocently but not innocently at all.  
 ** _Not a client, a coworker, it’s the new guy Matt, he asked me out._** he’s not going to lie to Jared they have an understanding.  
 **Cool, have fun.** he’s gritting his teeth the whole time he types it. It hits him in the gut a little, but, he asked and Jensen didn’t lie to him so that means something. 

Jensen meets Matt at Maria’s. Matt’s sitting on the bench outside shaking his leg nervously. “Matt,” Jensen says approaching him. 

He stands up and gives Jensen a hug, his green eyes gleaming as he smiles with delight. “Shall we go in,” he says opening the door.

Jared stays late at work since he doesn’t have to hurry home, he decides to finish inventory and burn off some of his anxiety about Jensen’s date. When his boss finally kicks him out he decides that Maria’s meatballs and salad are what he wants for dinner. He calls the order in and walks up the four blocks since it’s such a nice night out. 

He walks in and sees Sandy the hostess. “Hi Sandy,” he smiles at her. 

“Jared,” she’s happy to see him. “Are you meeting Jensen and his friend,” she asks as she points to them.

Jared’s expression must tell her a lot because she recoils her finger and looks sheepish. “No, he’s having dinner with a coworker,” he says quietly as he tries to duck back out of sight.

“Oh, sorry,” she says quietly.

“No need to mention I was here, I just want to pick up my call in order and leave if that’s okay,” he’s still hiding.

“I’ll get it for you.” She rushes off.

Jared peeks around the corner, he sees Jensen and what’s his face, they seem amicable enough, not very romantic or anything but Jensen is right, he’s fucking hot. _What a smile and those eyes_ , Jared thinks. He can totally see what Jensen sees in him but he still doesn’t like it. 

Sandy comes out with the to go package and hands it to him. “Here you go.”

“Great,” he hands her the money and ducks out the door unnoticed. 

He wants to call Genevieve, wants someone to talk to about this but, he knows who he married and that is exactly what she will tell him.

****

****

Jensen is doing some of his best flirting as he makes eye contact, touches Matt’s feet with his whenever he readjusts them and keeps licking his lips seductively. He feeds Matt some of his dessert off of his spoon and watches his mouth as he eats it as he says things like, “Delicious isn’t it. I read that chocolate is an aphrodisiac. My, is it hot in here, I’m sweating a little bit and do you work out? You look like you work out, where do you go? I want your trainer he knows what he’s doing.” All the while smiling and chuckling even when he doesn’t think what Matt says is witty. 

After dinner and an entire bottle of wine they are getting a little bit sloppy with each other. Hand caresses become more apparent, some comments are made about sexual prowess and cock size being important. There is only one place for this to lead and that is to bed.

Jensen follows Matt back to his place, there is stumbling and clutching as they make their way up the four floor walk up. Hands groping as they kiss awkwardly against the banister, Jensen pushes into Matt, their cocks rubbing against heavy fabric as they grind into each other. They don’t break apart until they hear a door open and close, keys jangling as footsteps start to descend the stairwell. They giggle like school girls as they pass the man coming down as they go up. 

Clothes are flying off before the door is even shut. The excitement of the moment, the thrill of a new partner has Jensen feeling all of those old one night stand feelings again. He’s been far too tame, falling into a rut with Jared, he thinks as he grabs for Matt pushing him into the wall. “Yeah couldn’t do this with Jared,” he thinks as he manhandles the man who is just a few inches shorter than himself. He grinds into him, kisses him hard on the mouth and pulls his hair until he’s pinned completely to the wall. 

There is fumbling as they make their way to the bedroom, clumsy frotting, sub par hand job action and Matt doesn’t want fucked tonight. It’s not what Jensen wanted at all. He’s disappointed but he comes with Matt’s hot mouth sucking him down. He thinks about how expert Jared is at swallowing his cock, how he knows just what Jensen likes and he fantasizes about looking down at the top of Jared’s head as his hazel eyes stare up at him lovingly as he makes himself come all over Matt’s lips. In the end, he wishes he had gone home to Jared.

 

Jared is sitting cross legged on the sofa with his plate of food held close to his mouth, he’s emotional eating. He’s scooping meatballs mixed with salad into his mouth with a large serving spoon as he watches episodes of Sixteen and Pregnant on MTV, he’s craving the emotional train wreck that the show conveys. He’ll never admit that these messed up girls with pregnant bellies or screaming babies, with boyfriends or husbands that cheat or mentally abuse them make his life seem far saner and that is why he watches it when he feels his life is spinning out of control. 

He looks at the kitchen clock while he washes the dishes, 11:42, he wonders if Jensen will come home tonight, if he’ll sleep in the guest room because he’ll stink of another man or not want to wake him. Is he at that man’s house or a no tell motel somewhere off the interstate. _Damn, stop obsessing Jared,_ he thinks to himself. “It is what it is and you agreed to it,” he says out loud.

He’s dog tired and waiting up for Jensen is only making him angry on top of his mild anxiety driven paranoia so he goes up to bed. 

It’s cold and uncomfortable in bed alone, he misses the warmth of Jensen, the way he pushes his back into him or wraps his arms around him. The snuggling, the tiny kisses on his back that he loves to pepper him with. His bed hasn’t felt empty since he married Jensen, even if he wasn’t always in it, it never felt as alone as it does tonight.

Jared is still lying awake when he hears the car door shut, the front door close, the water running in the guest bathroom and sees the sliver of light from the hallway seeping into the bedroom when the door is quietly opened and then closed. Jensen’s body weight slides effortlessly into bed behind him, the warm skin of Jensen’s chest touches Jared’s back and the soft cotton of his sleep pants rubs the back of Jared’s bare legs. He quietly inhales the perfumed scent of soap and minty toothpaste. “It’s nice to know you showered him off before climbing in bed with me,” he leaves Jensen to think about that statement.

Jensen takes a deep breath and decides not to respond. He just gently puts his arm around Jared’s waist and kisses his shoulder. “Night,” he whispers into the warm flesh.

Jared doesn’t move, doesn’t say another word, just lies there, heart racing like he wants to burst out in tears yet feeling strangely consoled by Jensen’s arm slung tenderly over his side and in that he takes all the comfort he can, that Jensen came home to him.

 

Although Jared doesn’t sleep much that night by morning he’s made a firm decision about the rest of his married life. There isn’t much he can do about Jensen’s indiscretions all he can do is make the most of their time together, be the best husband he can be and let Jensen know how much he really does love him. He starts the morning off with making him his favorite breakfast, a stack of blueberry pancakes.

Jensen worries that things are going to be awkward after Jared’s display of dislike but surprising enough when he comes out of the shower he can smell blueberry pancakes

  
**  
  
**  


Jared takes on the extra responsibilities of an employee who just retired until they can find a replacement so he’s been working double shifts almost every day. Jensen signed on a new author to the firm and has been working directly with her at least three times a week, so they don’t see each other much for the next few weeks except for bed time. They even had to skip their Friday night date night for the first time since they got married.

Jensen texts Jared at work. **_Its fri Im off work at 4 wanna grab a bite and see a movie?_**  
 **What movie?**  
 ** _Ladies choice?_** he snickers after he hits send.  
 **I don’t know that one, who stars in it**  
Jensen rolls his eyes. **_YOU silly_**  
 **Ha Ha Ha and I mean that sarcastically**  
 ** _So date nite or not?_**

Jared asks Gen if she can take his night shift that Jensen asked him out for date night and she agrees. “Go on you big romantic lug,” she pushes his shoulder.

“Thanks, I’ll cover one for you later.”

**Sure, let’s see The Vow.**  
 ** _Oh gross Jay, smooshy gushy romance. Avengers_**  
 **Like the “awesome” time you drug me to see Green Lantern cause Ryan R was shirtless.. no thanks. 5 super studs half naked with no plot line.. The Vow, it was a great love story.**  
Jensen rolls his eyes. **_sigh.. the vow it is then. But I go under protest because 5 super studs half naked with tons of fight scenes makes me fucking horny.. you might not get sex tonight. jsyk_** he smiles as he hits send.  
 **I’ll get sex tonight if I want it JSYK**  
 ** _Oh caps lock you mean business, someone is horny as hell_** Jensen bites his lower lip at the thought.  
 **Once in 2 weeks, hell yeah Im horny, my palm is getting blisters.**

Jensen envisions Jared jacking off in the stockroom to some slutty porn novel they have stashed back there, his cock out, hard and aching as he strokes it with just spit for lube and he thinks his knees would buckle if he wasn’t already sitting down. **_if the vow gets me play, then the vow it is_**  
 **You only haven’t gotten play because sleep has become more of a priority than coming jsyk**  
 ** _so true, so true. See you tonite._**  
 **Tonight, kisses**  
 ** _and licks_**

Jared hasn’t felt this giddy about date night since the first date night, he makes sure to have his duties done early so that he has time to go home and get ready for the first date night in forever with his husband.

Jensen is trying to wrap things up but the clock says 3:30 and he hasn’t even made a dent in the papers on his desk. He calls Danneel. “Get me Jim or Matt or someone, I need some help with these rough drafts,” he’s frustrated because he doesn’t want to let Jared down.

When Jim shows up he fields over half of them off on him and sends the other half to Matt whom he hasn’t spoken to since the ill fated hook up. Its 4:00 and he has three phone calls to make and then it’s out the door. He texts Jared. **_running a little late, meet me at the theater, will be there by start time at 6, popcorn xtra butter and cheddar salt_**

It’s not what Jared wants to see when he opens the text message but at least it wasn’t a cancellation which would have broken his heart. **any candy**  
 ** _gummy bears or raisinettes, ur choice, see you there. kisses_**  
 **and licks** Jared loves seeing their good-bye.. kisses and licks especially when Jensen initiates it.

Jared looks at his watch impatiently, 5:30 and still no Jensen. He’s eaten half of the popcorn, drank all of the soda and is thinking about the raisinettes, he’s emotional eating again. The same lame cinema commercials and trivia keep looping to cheesy pop music and he can’t help but stare at them to pass the time. The theater is filling up and several people try to sit next to him but he always puts his hand out and informs them it’s saved. 

5:52 and no Jensen yet. Jared is getting less antsy and more sad. 6:00, the lights are dimmed and the trailers start rolling. The ridiculous string of coke commercials lead off the fifteen minute string of inane mock home videos of people drinking coke to make their life more fun and interesting. 

Jensen is rushing to the theater, he knows he’s late, can’t help it there was extreme traffic on the highway but he’s putting the petal to the metal to get there before the movie actually starts.

Jared’s hand scrapes the bottom of the popcorn tub and the last sips of soda gravel loudly as he sucks them out. He goes out to have them refilled and there is a tap on his shoulder. “Sorry Jay, things got out of control,” Jensen is flushed and sweaty from rushing.

“No worries, it hasn’t started yet,” he pretends not to have been worried and smiles back at Jensen who he can tell has been rushing to get here. 

They snuggle in together as the opening credits start to roll. 

Jensen leans over and whispers. “Did anything look interesting that we might want to see later?”

“Nope, just a bunch of kid flicks and a new Sherlock Holmes movie,” Jared smiles wide because he knows Jensen loves Sherlock.

“Sherlock,” he says excitedly. “We are fucking coming to see that next, you hear me, Robert Downy Jr. makes my dick stand straight up,” he squeezes Jared’s thigh.

“Well then, we must make it stand at attention,” he puts his hand over Jensen’s. “Now shhh it’s starting.”

Its halfway through the movie and Jared is clutching Jensen’s hand as tears roll down his cheeks. Jensen won’t admit it but he loves it, the romance of having to show someone how to fall in love with you all over again, has his heart in a knot. He loves that Jared is clutching his hand, loves the soft feeling of his warmth on his leg and the tenderness of the movie are stirring him up.

He snuggles in and presses his shoulder to Jared’s as he slides his hand across to his leg and then up to his crotch. He’s wasting no time going for what he wants, he’s hard and wants to show Jared how much he still really wants him, how much he actually cares for him. His hands pushes on Jared’s cock, it’s soft under his fingers but it isn’t long before he’s hard under Jensen’s rough manipulations. 

Jared looks over at Jensen and smiles, he’s not sure what brought this on but he likes it. He adjusts his hips so that Jensen has a better angle over the arm rest. He loves how it feels, the squeezing and stroking, he wants to kiss him, and wants to touch him back but Jensen will have none of it, just keeps pushing Jared’s hands away. “This is all for you baby,” he tells him. So Jared lets it all be about him.

It isn’t long before Jensen is inside of Jared’s jeans snaking his fingers up and down the swollen shaft. Jared’s hips are moving in time with the pumping action. Jensen slips off of his seat and buries himself between Jared’s long legs as he pulls Jared’s cock through his fly. He looks up and Jared is staring down at him, lower lip caught between his teeth, eyes wide and transfixed on his every movement. “All for you,” he whispers before diving down on Jared’s impossibly hard cock. 

He’s sucking softly as not to make too much noise but he’s sure someone in the row has noticed and is just enjoying the view. Jared’s cock hits the back of his throat, the salty, buttery taste coats his tongue as he moves up and down on it. Jared’s hands grab his head and guide him up and down. He hears Jared’s stifled groans and heavy pants, his hips start rotating and Jensen knows it won’t be long. 

He flicks his tongue over the head before going back down, taking it as far as he can without gagging. He thought he had lost his gag reflex but that was before he met Jared and his oversized penis but it only goes with the territory when the man you love is completely oversized everywhere. He focuses on making Jared come, his suction a bit stronger, his tongue more active and he’s slipped his hand down inside to play with Jared’s tight balls.

The pleasure is immeasurable; Jared’s brain is filled with only the need to come and the heat of Jensen’s mouth all over his aching member. He bucks a few more times, thrusting a bit too deep because Jensen pulls back quickly but he can’t help it, he’s horny, he’s got Jensen on his cock and he can’t hold back any longer, he comes thick inside of Jensen’s mouth.

It’s not unexpected and Jensen’s prepared himself because Jared comes hard when he’s been horny and not able to get any. It shoots thick in his mouth and he swallows it all as fast as he can, sucking Jared through his orgasm. 

When Jared releases his head, Jensen moves back up to his seat and takes a long drink of soda to wash away the after taste. Jared looks over at him and smiles a lazy fucked out smile. “Want me to return the favor,” he asks quietly.

“Later,” is all Jensen can say before Jared claims his mouth with a needy kiss.

  
**  
  
**  


Jensen is setting up his lunch at his desk since Jared had to cancel their daily lunch date due to his working Gen’s shift today; it’s the repay shift for letting him go on date night a few weeks ago.

He decides to work through lunch and ordered out, he’s enjoying his chicken salad sandwich while reading over a manuscript when his intercom buzzer sounds off. “Yes Dannee,” he says with a mouthful of sandwich.

“Matt Cohen is here to see you,” she says it dryly. He can almost see her looking at Matt like he’s the scourge of the west from under those fake lashes and painted on eyebrows.

“I’m having lunch, can he come back,” he doesn’t really want to deal with him right now.

“He says it’s urgent,” she is basically mocking Jensen by using the work urgent.

Jensen takes a deep breath. “Send him in,” he shoves the last bite of his sandwich in his mouth, wipes his fingers with a wet nap and straightens his tie.

Jensen is standing behind his desk to greet Matt when he comes in. He shakes his hand like he’s going to interview him, nothing personable, very business like.

“So what can I do for you Matt,” he asks offering him the seat across from him.

“I don’t need anything,” he’s not smiling this time; he’s staring at Jensen very seriously.

“Then what do I owe the pleasure of your company for,” he knows what is coming next, what always comes next when Jensen drops someone off the face of his planet, _what did I do wrong?_

“I was just wondering why I haven’t heard from you, I left you several messages,” he doesn’t want to sound whiny.

“Oh about that, as you do know I am married and I do spend time with my husband, I can’t be at your beck and call because of that,” he’s trying to let him down easy.

“I understand that I’m only sex,” he wants Jensen to know that he’s okay with being the other man.

“So you want to be my, what, booty call,” he knows that Matt doesn’t really want that, he’s just trying to stick around.

“Not booty call per say but other man maybe,” he doesn’t like sounding cheap.

“Look Matt, we had fun, we hooked up, this isn’t a long term thing for me, it never was or is, that is why I have a husband,” Jensen doesn’t know how to tell him it didn’t work out.

“Lets go out for drinks tonight and see where things lead,” he smiles that sexy smile trying to entice Jensen into another _date_.

“Matt,” Jensen is getting irritated by his thick headedness. “There just wasn’t chemistry between us,” he stands up and walks around his desk and sits right in front of Matt.

“I know I wasn’t the best, I was nervous. I never had a hook up before like that and I never, well, fucked before,” he looks shamefully at Jensen.

Jensen looks surprised. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“I was embarrassed that you would think I was too fragile, but I’ve been experimenting since with, well, you know, things and I am ready to try it for real,” he looks earnestly into Jensen’s eyes.

Jensen thinks about it, he doesn’t know if he wants to take this guy’s virginity for something as stupid as vanity to be his first. He takes a deep breath. “Look, you need to save that for someone that you love,” he thinks about Jared and how he took Jared’s virginity years ago. How when he first did it, it was for the sake of having a virgin freshman, he doesn’t want to do that to this guy he barely knows.

“I’m not saying I love you because I don’t but I want you to be my first.”

He mumbles under his breath, “Shit,” as he thinks about it. “Go back to work, I’ll let you know.”

Matt doesn’t say another word just pats Jensen’s thigh and heads out the door.

That night at dinner Jensen can’t stop thinking about Matt, he’s so distracted at dinner he doesn’t even realize that Jared is trying to get his attention.

“Earth to Jensen, hello Jensen, is anybody in there,” he waves his hands at him, claps his hands loudly, “Wow someone is in fantasy land tonight,” he decides to resume eating and let Jensen alone.

Jensen looks up with a confused expression. “What were you saying,” he asks.

Jared laughs. “Oh nothing just telling you that your head was on fire, nothing important,” he takes another bite of salad.

“Sorry I’m so distracted tonight, I just had something come out of left field at work and I’m just thrown by it, is all,” he doesn’t want to elaborate on it and tries to change the subject. “So how was your day?”

“Not as interesting as yours apparently, what happened?” he’s interested.

“Book client stuff, nothing big just work related is all,” he blows it off and tries yet again to change the subject. “So how come you had to work Gen’s shift for her today?”

“Some lady appointment, so I am guessing gyno,” he never stops eating his food. “Client demands about their book or really bad book and don’t know how to tell them it stinks,” Jared is interested in the office gossip.

He figures he’ll make something up to appease Jared and shut him up about it. “Really bad, really long and overly winded book by one of regular authors. It was something that you wouldn’t expect from him, it’s like he’s a virgin writer. Says he wanted to try something new and was experimenting with things,” he never looks Jared in the eye while he’s weaving his web of deceit.

“Huh, well, break it to him gently, you know how those tortured authors have tender souls,” he laughs.

 

After dinner they’re watching tv snuggled up on the sofa and Jensen’s phone goes off, it’s Matt, he hits ignore. Fifteen minutes later it goes off again, it’s Matt, he hits ignore. Five minutes later it’s a text from Matt, he excuses himself to answer the message. “Work, I’ll be right back,” he says as he pecks Jared on the cheek.

He calls Matt from out on the patio for privacy. “Seriously, what the fuck,” is the first words out of his mouth.

“Sorry, you never let me know,” he sounds hurt.

“You want to know Matt,” he’s almost screaming into the phone. “Tomorrow after work at the Bedorff Hotel, I’ll have a room and list you as guest, you want me to fuck you, I’ll fuck you but if it’s not working out, if there is no chemistry again, it’s over,” he doesn’t even wait for an answer he just hangs up the phone.

Jared can tell that Jensen is upset when he sits down. “What’s wrong babe,” he puts his arm around him pulling him in tight.

“Just,” he makes his mouth into a tight line. “The new guy Matt, he irks me with his incessantness.”

Jared just holds Jensen and lets him calm down. He doesn’t ask what it’s about anymore just lets him find comfort in his embrace.

  
**  
  
**  


  
[part7](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/21997.html)  



	7. If I only had all of you, Part7

  


On his way to work Jensen stops in at the Bedorff Hotel and books a room, he packed an overnight bag with lube, condoms and a few sex toys, to give Matt the full, Jensen just fucked me experience, before he kicks him to the curb.

He meets Jared for lunch at the diner, he feels a little bit awkward having a meal with his husband when in just a few short hours he’ll be naked and balls deep in another man’s ass. He tries not show it, he knows he’s not going to tell Jared about it so he just goes on as normal, eating his grilled cheese and tomato sandwich and drinking his diet coke.

“Do you want steak for dinner,” Jared asks unexpectedly.

“Um, sure,” he knows he won’t be home for suppertime but Jared won’t, until he texts him later with an excuse.

“Kay, I’ll pick them up on the way home,” he rubs Jensen’s leg with his foot a little less than innocently.

Jensen smiles up at him with a devilish grin. “If I didn’t know you better Mr. Padalecki-Ackles I’d think you were trying to get something started,” he rubs Jared’s leg in kind.

“Maybe we should get a room,” he looks at his watch. “Or a bathroom stall,” Jared winks.

“Fifteen minutes,” Jensen makes his thinking face. “Only enough time for one of us to,” he whispers, “come and you’re a screamer, do you really think we could get away with it in public,” he laughs.

“The more we talk the less time we have,” Jared puts his foot in Jensen’s lap.

Jensen coughs up the coke he just attempted to swallow. “I do believe the movie theater experience has turned you into a bit of a public sex hound,” he wipes off his face and the table.

“It is a bit of a turn on,” his hazel eyes are fixed on Jensen’s mouth.

Jensen chuckles darkly. “You are so bad,” he’s never seen this side of Jared before but he likes it, no scratch that, loves it.

“But you love it,” he wiggles his foot before returning it to the floor again.

“We are going to have to save this for another time Jay, I need to get back to work and so do you,” he’s being serious although he looks at the bathroom door and bites his lower lip wondering if there really is enough time for a quickie.

Jared sighs hard. “Alright, but don’t think I am not going to hold you to it another time,” he wipes his mouth and pushes his plate to the center of the table. “That bathroom is going to be violated one lunch hour so help me,” he laughs.

“It’s a date,” Jensen laughs; he knows exactly why he loves Jared at this very moment.

 

  
**  
<><><><>   
**   


Time is moving impossibly slow for Jensen since he got back from lunch, he refuses to check his watch but the time clock on his computer keeps reminding him it’s almost 4pm, quitting time.

He’s at a stoplight a few blocks before the hotel when he remembers to text Jared. _**Sorry I am going to be pretty late, don’t cook my steak. I’m sorry will be home no later than 8. c u then. Kisses**_

When he walks into the lobby of the hotel his heart just isn’t in it, he doesn’t want to meet Matt, in actuality he hasn’t wanted to meet anyone since he got married. For the first time in his adult sexual life, he feels satisfied with one person.

He slides the key into the electric reader and opens the door. He has to prepare for Matt, get things ready for the **date**.

He strips the bed to the bottom sheet, discards the pillows, puts the lube, condoms and toys on the nightstand and puts out two towels, just in case they’re needed for quick clean ups.

He strips down and freshens up; he preps a little by stretching himself open while he’s in the shower, making sure that he’s at least two fingers open and liberally lubing himself.

He knows Matt should be there very shortly so he puts on the tiny bathrobe and waits on the bed.

 

 

  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


 

The store is pretty busy today so time is flying by rather quickly. Jared can’t stop thinking about playing footsy with Jensen at lunch and while restocking the magazines, he starts to daydream about all of the things he wants to do to him after dinner.

He’s helping a customer find a book when unbeknownst to him, his cell phone vibrates in his jacket pocket as it hangs on the back of the chair behind the counter.

Genevieve is helping him to restock the philosophy section.

“So-Crates,” she says and then chuckles.

Jared looks at her funny and then realizes she means Socrates. “It’s Socrates, not So-Crates,” he corrects her.

“Haven’t you and your oversized brain ever seen Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” she asks with the wide eyes of disbelief.

“Um, can’t say I have.”

“Oh My God Jared, you have to see Bill and Ted, it’s a classic, a total classic,” she gushes.

“What is it about?” he figures it’s a rational question since she seems to think he’ll like it.

“Well, these two high school kids want to be cool rock stars, one’s name is Bill S Preston (esquire) and the other is Ted Theodore Logan, in the future they are instrumental in saving the world, but first they have to graduate high school and well to make this really long story short, they travel back through time in a phone booth from the future and gather historical figures like Abe Lincoln and Socrates to do a live history report for them. They think Socrates is pronounced So-Crates.”

Jared’s not impressed and scrunches up his mouth. “Well maybe some time,” he says so she’ll stop talking about it like she so often does with things she is passionate about.

“Rent it tonight, Jen will love it too.”

“Oh tonight is not for movie watching,” he waggles his eyebrows.

“Thanks Jared I really didn’t need to know that,” she laughs.

“Yep, steaks and sexing, in that order,” he gives a devilish grin.

“Keep it up and you’ll be doing the last three boxes yourself.”

“My lips are zipped,” he presses his lips tight together and acts like he’s zipping them shut. “I need to get out on time to go shopping and get home by the time Jensen does.”

 

  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


 

Matt doesn’t even knock just opens the door with the key Jensen had for him at the desk and walks in.

Jensen is sitting on the bed in just the robe; he lays the phone on the nightstand and stands up. “Glad you showed up,” he says with a seductive tone. He has to make this look somewhat like a seduction even if he can’t wait to get it over with.

“Of course I’m here, I loved the way you commanded it and the fact that I didn’t see you all day just has me more on edge,” he opens his tie and walks over to stand in front of Jensen.

Jensen looks him up and down before grabbing him by the shoulders and slamming his mouth into Matt’s. It’s a rough kiss, no passion behind it at all, mostly raw energy with a hint of desire. He kisses harder, presses tighter, tries to put no space between him and his intended partner, as he tries to make himself believe he wants this.

Matt’s hands are all over Jensen, he’s kissing back as he shoves his tongue inside of Jensen’s mouth to tangle their tongues together. He grinds into Jensen’s hips making friction and sending shockwaves up his own body. He wants this, needs this, and wants Jensen inside of him with every ounce of lust he can muster up.

Jensen rips Matt’s jacket off and drops it to the floor, he rips his shirt open raking his fingers across his chest as he does it. He replaces his hands with his mouth sucking at the pecs underneath the white cotton t-shirt. He grips Matt’s arms tight as he shoves him into the wall before unbuckling his belt and ripping the button from his slack as he shoves them down to his knees. He cups Matt’s erection through his underwear and squeezes eliciting a deep moan from him, Jensen smiles at his reaction. He pushes at Matt’s shoulders slamming him into the wall before turning away. “Take everything off and get on the bed,” his voice is commanding and dark.

 

  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


 

 

 

Jared finishes all of his stocking duties and is putting things back in the stock room when Genevieve comes in. “Why don’t you cut out early tonight, get your things done for dinner tonight and maybe beat Jensen home.”

“Are you sure, I mean I still have an hour left?”

“Get out of here before I decide to make you stay later,” she’s making a mock angry expression.

“Thanks,” he doesn’t waste any time grabbing his jacket and rushing out the door. “See you tomorrow,” he says as the door closes behind him.

He parked a little farther up the street since he is going to hit the meat market on the same block. He slips his jacket on and jaunts across the street. He goes into the meat market to get their steaks.

 

 

  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


 

 

 

 

Jensen is on top of Matt, his fingers lubed up and stretching him open. Matt’s rocking and grinding into the thickness twisting inside of him. Jensen is staring into his eyes, watching every pleasure induced expression but all he sees is Jared’s face, his eyes staring back at him from underneath his weight. He pulls his fingers out and grabs a vibrating butt plug, sets it on low and slips it inside. Matt arches into the fluttering sensation and cries out. “Oh Fuck!”

“Like that,” he whispers low into Matt’s ear as he bites at his neck.

“Holy shit yes,” he moans as Jensen’s mouth nips at the over sensitized flesh, he’s so excited that any touch is to the point of pleasure pain.

Jensen moves his knee against the butt plug and holds it in while he adjusts Matt’s hips so that he’s in position for entry. He knows he’s ready so he pops the plug out, lubes up his hard cock and slowly begins to enter the twitching hole. He shoves the head inside carefully. Matt’s body responding with slow steady pushing down on him as he sinks in deeper and deeper until he’s balls deep inside of Matt’s tight ass.

He stays still letting Matt get used to the fullness of a real cock inside of him. The tight flexing of Matt’s heat has Jensen remembering the first time he fucked Jared, how he responded, how his body begged Jensen to move, pumping him tenderly until he came. This is different; Matt wants it, hard because he’s already moving himself on Jensen’s cock.

Their bodies are moving in unison, the ebb and flow increasing in speed as Matt bucks into Jensen with need for deeper penetration. Jensen’s rubbing over his prostate and urging his orgasm closer and closer to the edge. He won’t touch himself even though he’s dying to because he wants this to last as long as possible.

Jensen is holding on to Matt’s hips as he pulls him in and pounds hard into him. He’s watching his hard cock bounce with each thrust, it’s not as big as Jared’s not as thick and engorged as Jared’s gets and it doesn’t inspire him to want to suck it. With Jared this is where he’d be stroking his cock while pounding into him, talking dirty and urging him to cum. There isn’t any of that with Matt; he’s just going through the motions numbly until it’s all over.

Matt is moaning as their pace builds, they’re covered in sweat, moaning and gasping as their orgasms are pushing to the surface. Jensen’s head is full of thoughts of Jared, the look on his face when he comes, the sounds he makes and how he clutches him tightly as his orgasm rips through him. Matt’s focused on the feeling, the way Jensen’s body is slamming into his, the look in his green eyes, and how possessive he is. They are both on the verge of coming.

 

  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


 

When Jared emerges from the butcher with the steaks his phone is going off, he checks it and sees there is a text from Jensen. He ignores the call from Gen and checks Jensen’s message. _**Sorry I am going to be pretty late, don’t cook my steak. I’m sorry will be home no later than 8. c u then. Kisses**_

He’s so disappointed that he doesn’t even notice the car coming at him when he steps out into the street without looking.

 

  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


Jensen’s balls pull tight, Matt grabs his cock and starts to stroke it, Jensen plows harder into Matt and grunts as he comes hard into him.

  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


 

The car slams into Jared’s body knocking him sideways, throwing him into the air, the plastic bag and phone in his hands flying through the air as if he threw them. He’s not even sure what’s happening, when he hits the ground with a hard thud it doesn’t hurt at first, it takes a second and then the blinding pain hits him like a shotgun bullet to his hip. His shoulder and head hit the asphalt with a crack and it’s the last thing he hears before everything goes black.

  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


Matt’s orgasm rips through him as he rides Jensen’s softening member. His hand reaches for Jensen’s hip as he holds on while the last shudders of his orgasm spill out.  


  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


 

 

Genevieve is waiting on a customer when she hears sirens. “Wonder what happened,” she says trying to see out of the store front window.

Someone comes in gasping for breath. “Jesus, Jared’s been hit by a car.”

“What, where,” Gen says running for the door.

“Up the street a block or two,” they call to her as she runs out of the store.

She’s not worried about the store, she needs to get to Jared, **help** Jared, or **save** her best friend.

When she gets to the scene there is an ambulance and fire truck rescue, Jared is lying unconscious on the ground, his head is lying in a pool of blood and she rushes over. “Jared, no, God no, Jared please,” she’s pleading as she rushes over. A police officer grabs her arm.

“Ma’am, no, stay back,” he commands.

“He’s my best friend,” she pulls away from his grip and falls down at his side. “Jared please,” she says touching his arm.

An emergency medical tech takes her by the arm. “Please Miss let us do our job,” he says moving her out of the way.

“Is he alive?” he asks in a frenzy of tears.

“For now,” the EMT says. They bring in a stretcher and perform the necessary immobilization techniques, hook up a few IVs and prepare to move him.

“Do you want to ride with him?” the EMT asks her.

She’s gathering up his phone and store bag. “Yes,” she quickly follows them into the back of the ambulance.

  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


 

Jensen collapses beside Matt, he’s breathless and sweaty. He pulls off the condom and throws it in the trash. Matt leans over to kiss him but Jensen rolls over and sits up. “I’m gonna shower,” he ignores Matt’s interest in afterglow snuggling.

“I’ll join you,” he jumps off the bed and stumbles. “My legs are still weak,” he laughs as he follows Jensen to the bathroom door.

“I’d rather do this myself,” he shuts the door in Matt’s face.

He can’t make the water hot enough to wash away the shame he feels for doing this, the fact that he didn’t want to do it but still felt the need to, he’s never going to be able to look Jared in the face when he gets home since he hid this from him. He’s never had to hide it, always been honest but the fact that he felt the need to lie shows how much he only wants Jared.

Matt’s sitting on the bed sulking when Jensen’s phone goes off, he peeks at the caller ID and sees it’s his husband Jared, he hits ignore and lays the phone back down.

When Jensen’s done showering he gives the bathroom to Matt who is still lying across the bed waiting. “It’s all yours,” he offers it up to him.

  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


Genevieve is waiting outside the emergency room, the doctors come out to talk to her.

“Does he have any family or a wife,” they ask her.

“Yes, I’ll call them. Is he alright, I mean, going to be alright?”

“We don’t know yet, he’s in a coma and he’s pretty banged up. We just have to wait and see if he comes out of the coma soon.”

“When can I see him?”

“We are moving him to ICU now so in a little bit, a nurse will come and get you,” they walk out of the waiting room.

She uses Jared’s phone to contact Jensen. It rings three rings and then goes straight to voicemail, she leaves a message. “Jensen this is Genevieve, Jared’s friend, there’s been an accident, he was hit by a car and he’s at Dallas Memorial Hospital. I am with him but he’s in pretty critical condition right now, you need to get down here asap,” she hangs up the phone and wonders why he didn’t answer to Jared’s number.

 

  
**  
/\\\//\\\//\\\//\   
**   


 

Jensen looks at his watch and its 6:00pm, he’s hurrying to dress and get home to Jared. He checks his phone for a text message from him about his earlier message. He sees the voice message from Jared’s cell and listens to it. _**“Jensen this is Genevieve, Jared’s friend, there’s been an accident, he was hit by a car and he’s at Dallas Memorial Hospital. I am with him but he’s in pretty critical condition right now, you need to get down here asap,”**_ Jensen freaks out, he zips up his slacks and grabs his jacket, he doesn’t even tell Matt he’s leaving, he just grabs his things and rushes to the hospital.

 

Genevieve is sitting at Jared’s bedside. Jensen turns the corner; he stops for a second and looks in through the observation window. He’s shocked to see Jared with a respirator on, both of his eyes are bruised, arm in a cast and his head wrapped in a white bandage. He takes a deep breath, fights back the tears and steps into the room.

“Jensen,” she rushes over to him and hugs him, her make-up is smeared and she’s holding wadded up tissues.

“Gen,” he can’t stop looking at Jared.

“He’s been like this since the car hit him, he’s stable otherwise but he’s in a coma the doctors say.”

“I got here as fast as I could,” he walks over and takes Jared’s hand. “Baby, I’m here,” he whispers, tears forming in his eyes, a giant lump in his throat. He runs his fingers over the pink spot on the head bandage then down the thick grid of the cast to Jared’s swollen fingers.

“I’ll just be in the waiting room,” she steps out of the room. Jensen doesn’t even notice, he’s fixated on Jared now.

It’s been about an hour and the doctor comes in to check on Jared, “Doctor,” Jensen says reaching out to shake his hand. “I’m Jared’s husband Jensen Ackles.”

“Mr. Ackles, nice to meet you,” he shakes Jensen’s hand before checking the monitor readings.

“How is he?”

“Mr. Padalecki is stable but we just aren’t sure why he’s in a coma, he didn’t sustain any brain trauma that we can find. He has a mild concussion, broken left arm, broken right leg which looks like the point of impact. We were able to set it and immobilize it quickly. Other than those things he’s fine. The respirator is mainly because he has some chest contusions and one broken rib, being in a coma he would breathe too shallow and could develop pneumonia from it so this keeps his lungs clear.”

“Is there anything I can do, give blood, or anything,” he asks out of desperation.

“All we can do is wait until his body is ready to wake up,” the doctor shakes Jensen’s hand again and leaves the room.

Jensen’s heart is breaking, seeing Jared like this, knowing where he was and what he was doing when it happened compounds the guilt. He can’t leave Jared’s side, he has to be here for him, and help take care of him.

He calls Jared’s family, Sherry and Jerry make the trip up to the hospital and his brother Jeff makes sure to keep tabs on his recovery. Megan is in Italy and can’t be reached.

Genevieve comes back and sits with Jensen for awhile, they comfort each other and then she decides to go home.

It’s been nine hours, Jensen hasn’t left his side. He’s met four of the care nurses, they keep him engaged so that he’s not constantly crying or fussing with Jared’s blankets, even though they never move. The nurses order him a dinner tray and the dietitian brings it to him. He barely touches anything but the jello and coffee, he’s too nervous to eat anything.

Sherry comes around the corner. “Jensen,” she rushes to Jared’s side, takes Jensen’s hand. “My boy,” she’s sobbing.

“Sherry,” he stands and hugs her.

“Oh Jensen, how, what happened? He looks terrible.”

“He was crossing the street and a car hit him, he’s been in a coma since the accident,” he holds her hand tight. “They say he’s stable we just need to wait until he decides to wake up.”

Jerry comes in and rushes over to Sherry’s side. Jensen explains all that is wrong with him; they sit and comfort each other for hours. The sun is about to come up when Jerry insists they go get some sleep. Jensen refuses but gives them the key to the house and tells them to make themselves at home.

 

The nurses give Jared his bath and check his vitals, they makes sure Jensen has breakfast that he doesn’t eat, all but the coffee. He falls asleep holding Jared’s hand for a few hours, when he wakes he’s covered with a blanket.

He goes down the hall to use the public restroom and the nurses all smile at him. He thanks them for the blanket and they tell him they are arranging for a cot for tonight, no sleeping in the chair.

When Sherry and Jerry return they bring Jensen clean clothes and some basic care supplies like toothpaste and mouthwash. They spend the rest of the day with Jared, talking about old times; laughing about things he did when he was a child. Jensen really gets to know Jared inside and out. He never lets go of his hand, not for a second because he wants him to know he’s here for him.

Jensen’s phone rings and it’s his work. Danneel wants to know why he hasn’t come in to work yet, he has to explain it to her and that he is taking a leave until Jared is out of the hospital. He calls his boss and explains it to him too and all is arranged.

When evening comes Sherry and Jerry go back to the house and Jensen is alone again with Jared. It’s their time when everyone is gone. He talks to him about things they did in college and what he wants to do when he wakes up. How he wants to take a long vacation overseas when Jared is able. He drifts off to sleep in the chair again because in the cot he can’t reach Jared’s hand. He snuggles himself into the blanket and scooches as close as he can to the bed, entangles his fingers with Jared’s and drifts off to sleep.

Its day three. The doctors order another CAT scan just to make sure there is no brain swelling or problems since Jared hasn’t woken up. The tests come back fine.

Frustration is setting in, he can’t understand why Jared won’t wake up and he fears for the worst even though the doctors all say he’s healing and there is nothing seriously wrong that is causing his coma. He has a long talk with Jared.

“Baby, you have to wake up, we can’t have a life with you in a coma. I can’t stay here forever even though you know I will,” he’s rubbing Jared’s thumb with his own. “I miss you. I’m sorry I cancelled dinner that night, it was selfish of me to do it, I know that now and it won’t ever happen again, I promise,” he’s pleading with him for forgiveness.

When Jared’s parents arrive Jensen needs to get out of the room for at least an hour. He feels guilty but he’s going stir crazy staring at the same four walls for three days. He’s sitting on a bench outside enjoying the sunshine when Genevieve comes up the walkway.

“Hey Jensen,” she sits down next to him. “How’s Jared?”

“The same,” he says giving her a half smile.

“You look like hell, have you been home at all?”

“Thanks. Way to boost my ego and no I haven’t left Jared’s side since I got here.”

“Let me buy you a coffee,” she takes his hand and leads him to the cafeteria.

They sit down and Jensen takes a long swallow of coffee. “MMMM, it’s the only thing that’s kept me going,” he’s smelling the steam and embracing the cup.

“You do know that Jared loves you above all else, right,” she cuts to the chase, doesn’t beat around the bush but lays it out for him.

“Huh,” he’s caught off guard. “I assume he loves me like I love him,” he’s not comfortable talking to her about this given the fact that she’s openly expressed her feelings about their open marriage.

“Look Jensen,” she sets her coffee down and looks him straight in the eye. “Your affairs or liaisons as he likes to call them hurt him. He lets you go out because he agreed to that when he married you and that is the only reason he never says anything about them and even encourages you to date,” she’s being as blunt as possible.

“I don’t think this is a conversation we should be having, at all, ever because this is between Jared and me,” he’s getting upset.

“No this is a conversation Jared will never have with you even when his heart is so broken you can’t paste it back together with movie theater blow jobs,” she leans in close and takes his hand. “He loves you Jensen,” she’s driving her point home.

Jensen swallows hard and can’t look her in the eyes just looks down at their hands. “You know I love him too,” he can’t bring himself to tell her he’s loved him for years even before they got married.

“But not like Jared loves you. He waited for you, he remembered that stupid pact you two made at his brother’s wedding, barely dated anyone, watched you philandering around and supported you. He waited for you for ten years, ten fucking years until you were thirty years old, planned the best birthday party he could just to remind you about that pact. He didn’t care if you broke his heart, he wanted you any way he could get you because he **Fucking loves Jensen Ross Ackles** ,” she ends her lesson.

Jensen is speechless; he’s staring unwavering into her deep brown eyes. He swallows hard before standing up, he looks like he’s going to say something but he can’t, he just turns and walks out of the cafeteria leaving Genevieve at the table.

His head is spinning as he rides the elevator to the twelfth floor. He’s thinking about what she said, how Jared never did date much or never talked about them if he did. How he was always there by Jensen’s side to support him, be there for him, or cheer him on. There is nothing he can say about Jared except he’s been a true and loyal friend, a good husband and a magnificent lover. He sees it now, all of that unconditional love pouring out of Jared and all of the selfish taking Jensen did over the years.

When he walks back into the room and sits down next to Jared’s bed he can’t control his emotions he starts crying, sobbing like he lost Jared but its all of the emotion he’s hidden for years, took for granted for a decade pouring out in the name of love.

Sherry just watches him fall apart, Jerry puts his hand on his shoulder and their support means the world. He lifts his head and through sobs he tells them both, “I love Jared so much I can’t even fathom how much.”

It’s the fourth day and Jensen has fallen into a routine but today he eats his breakfast completely, shaves off his four day old stubble and instead of rehashing old times he goes to the gift shop and buys a book to read Jared instead.

When Jared’s parents arrive they have flowers to make the room a bit brighter and have brought clean clothes for Jared when he wakes up.

They have lunch, they talk and read and they treat Jared like he’s awake including him in their conversations.

Around 11:30 Jensen is getting tired, he’s trying to read to Jared but his vision is getting blurry and he keeps nodding off but he wants to finish this chapter.

“The woodsmen cut a path through the forest for them, his hands shaking from the exhaustion of cutting a swath through miles of dense brush and knowing that there were miles more ahead of them he decided to rest.” Jensen’s eyes slowly close and his words drag out, his head slowly descends down onto Jared’s chest. He’s asleep.

Suddenly he’s jolted awake by Jared’s hands flailing around. He knocks Jensen’s head around as he tries to pull the respirator out of his mouth. Jensen grabs his arms and rings for the night nurse immediately.

“Jay, Jay,” he says firmly. “It’s me Jen, you are okay, don’t move,” he’s pinning his hands down to his sides. “Relax and lay still, they’ll take it out, you’re in the hospital right now,” he’s trying to calm him but he can see the fear in his wide hazel eyes. He’s not sure what’s going on, where he is or how he even got here.

The nurses run in and strap his hands down. He’s fighting the tubing, trying to yell, grunting and gagging. “Relax Mr. Padalecki, we’re going to take the tube out right now,” she injects something into his IV to calm him down so they can remove the respirator tubing without injury.

His muscles relax and his eyes go half lidded as he looks pleadingly at Jensen for help and then they go completely closed.

When Jared’s eyes flutter open again Jensen and his parents are right there by his side. He looks around dazed and confused from the trauma of waking up before. He tries to talk but his throat is raw. “What happened?”

Sherry smiles down at him with loving eyes. “You were hit by a car sweetie but it’s over now,” she pats his hand. Jerry is standing behind her.

“It hurts,” he says as he tries to shift in bed.”

“You’re pretty banged up Jay,” Jensen says trying to help him get comfortable. “You’ve been out for four days.”

“In a coma,” he asks with surprise, his voice croaking out every word.

“Yes,” Jerry says.

The doctor comes in and checks him, he ask him questions, check his eyes, reflexes and vitals. “You seem pretty fit for someone in your condition Jared,” the doctor laughs. “I would suggest a week or more in the hospital and then we’ll talk about outsource rehab but for now we’ll get you some in house rehab so that you’re up and moving in no time,” he shakes Jared’s hand.

“Thank you doctor,” he says still hazy about everything that’s happened.

  
[part8](http://j2-ficwhore.livejournal.com/22242.html)   



	8. If I only had all of you, Part8

  


Its a few more days before he gets a physical therapist assigned to him. He’s still in a lot of pain but he’s ready to be out of bed. Jensen is there every day before and after work, he’s basically living there minus the chair sleeping, Jared will have none of that.

When Jensen goes back to work he sees Matt. He’s been avoiding him or rather ignoring him because he’s been with Jared in the hospital for a week. He doesn’t want to deal with him or his thirty two voice and text messages.

“Jensen,” Danneel says sternly.

“Dannee,” Jensen replies in kind. “What now,” he knows her tones and this one is, _you owe me big time for saving your ever loving ass._

“Mr. Cohen has been here every day wanting to know where you are,” she hands him a stack of messages he left. “I didn’t tell him anything but honestly this should teach you to keep your dipstick out of company holes,” she smiles at her sarcastic remark.

“I’ll handle it. He saw me come in and ignored me but I am betting he shows up in about ten minutes,” he looks at his watch, “make it five.”

Jensen is right it’s not even five minutes before he’s requesting to see him. Jensen has Danneel send him in.

Matt storms in. “What was it this time Jensen,” he huffs.

“Look it’s over, just accept it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was leaving the hotel, I had a family emergency and I’ve been at the hospital for the last week. It just won’t ever work for us Matt, the only permanent in my life I want is my husband,” he’s being rational and trying so hard to let him down easy.

“I told you I’m okay with that,” he’s toned down and pleading.

“Go find yourself someone unattached Matt, find that someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with you and only you,” he pats him on the shoulder reassuringly as he heads him to the door.

“So this is it? Drop me at work and then I am supposed to just crawl away,” he’s trying the guilt trip tactic.

“No crawling. Walk out with your head held high, no one knows what we did, as far as they know you came in to see how my husband is doing, no harm no foul,” he’s still directing him to the door.

“So it was your husband that was the family emergency, I saw he called you while you were in the shower.”

“What,” Jensen’s tempter is starting to boil.

“I figured you wouldn’t want bothered so I didn’t tell you, we had much more time to spend together.”

Jensen’s blood is boiling at this point but he hides it or he’ll punch this punk in the face. “I wouldn’t go around telling people that information and I wouldn’t mention us to anyone either,” he has him at the door.

“What if I already told people?” his last ditch attempt is blackmail.

“Then I would say you are stupid and in the end, you are the one who is going to pay not me,” he opens the door and ushers him out.

After Matt leaves his office completely Jensen calls Danneel. “Have him switched to Jim  
Beaver’s department, I don’t want bothered with him anymore.”

Jared meets his physical therapist today when a well built man with blue eyes and dark black hair comes into his room with a big toothy smile and sits down on the edge of his bed and introduces himself. “Hi Jared, I’m Misha Collins, I’ll be your physical therapist while you’re here,” he extends his hand.

“Hi Misha,” Jared says shaking his hand.

They start the therapy, Misha explains that they are going to start slow with range of motion so that his leg doesn’t stiffen up at the hip joint and ankle while it heals, that their goal is to get Jared back on his feet as soon as possible without creating more damage to his leg.

He starts out slow, he knows it’s very painful for Jared because he winces and hisses with each movement. Misha tries to be as gentle as possible but he explains that with the first stretches they are the most painful. He tries to take his mind off it by talking to him while they work it out.

“So are you married?”

“Yes,” he says through the pain.

“Have any children?”

“No, I’m gay, married to a man,” he’s grunting with the strain as they work out his leg.

“That doesn’t mean you couldn’t have adopted,” he’s nonchalant about the gay marriage issue.

“Nope, not even been married a year, no kids,” the pain is starting to lessen, he’s not sure if he’s distracted or it’s limbering up.

“I’ve been out of my relationship with Richard for about two years now, I miss the kids,” Misha divulges he’s gay in a round about way.

“So how come he got the kids and you can’t see them,” Jared is concerned for this man he just met.

“They were his kids with his wife, she died and he came out of the closet. I was his physical therapist after the car accident that ended up killing his wife; we were together for nine years and one day he came home and informed me that he didn’t love me anymore, took the kids and left.”

“Wow that sucks. Sorry man.”

“I’m in a better place now so other than missing the kids, I don’t think about him much at all.” He changes the subject. “Okay you’re done for today,” he puts Jared’s leg down on the bed and marks things off on his chart.

Jared is surprised it was so quick. “Wow I thought it would take longer.”

“Not today, today is for the limbering up, we’ll do some other things tomorrow that might not be as much fun for you,” he laughs a maniacal laugh. “See you tomorrow Jared.”

When Jensen comes in that night Jared tells him about his therapist Misha and how he seems really nice and of course is gay, which works out great because he won’t feel awkward working with Jared’s groin muscle.

“Sounds like a good fit,” Jensen says unpacking the dinner he brought in.

“I can’t wait to get up and get back home, I miss work too,” he’s trying to lift the lid off of his food with one hand. Jensen reaches over and uncovers it for him. “Thanks Jen,” he pecks him on the cheek.

“I just want you well again and a full recovery,” he takes a bite of his food. “Mmm I think they out did themselves with the chicken this time,” he offers Jared a bite.

“Yes they did,” he smiles. “I want a full recovery too and I’m horny as hell,” he laughs.

Jensen looks at the open door. “We could do something about that if you want,” he snakes his hand under Jared’s sheet and over his crotch.

“Oh like sex on an airplane, really, really quietly as not to wake everyone else,” he snickers. “Yes please,” he adjusts himself and puts the bed back just a little bit. “There, no scoot over here I want to reach you too.”

Jensen complies and shoves the chair against the bed where Jared can reach over and touch him too. Jared’s already hard before Jensen even starts to manipulate him. “Someone’s been anticipating this,” he whispers.

“I can’t help it, I get horny and with one broken arm and nurses in and out, who has time to get off,” he bites his lower lip at the feeling of Jensen stroking him. He knows its not going to take long but he tries really hard not to come just yet at least not until he gets his hand down Jensen’s jeans that is.

Jensen lifts his hips so that Jared can get his hand inside of his pants. He feels his nimble long fingers wrap around his cock and pull it up. He’s half hard now with the touch but in just a few seconds he’s hard as a rock well as soon as Jared started rubbing his thumb over the head. He knows what Jensen likes and he does it every time. “Oh God Jay, yeah,” his breath is hitching. He keeps on eye on the door as he strokes Jared with long pulls.

Jared doesn’t waste any time, he wants to come and he wants Jensen to come too so he twists his hand and wiggles his fingers as they go over the head, Jensen starts to make quiet noises and Jared knows he’s close.

If Jared’s body shifting into Jensen’s strokes wasn’t enough to tell him he likes what he’s doing the quiet whispers of swear words are. He’s not sure how much longer he can last as a matter of fact he’s almost there himself, his hips buck into Jared’s light fluttering touch and before he knows it he’s clenching his jaw on a loud moan and coming inside of his boxers as Jared smears the release up and down his shaft.

Jared grunts and comes, his body tense as he holds back the string of curse words flooding his head. Jensen keeps pumping him until Jared begs him to stop. “Jen stop, please stop.” He opens his eyes and takes a deep breath, it hitches as he tries to compose himself. There’s a damp spot on the sheet as Jensen slips his hand out from under it. “Oh shit Jen,” Jared says in a panic.

“Don’t worry, you spilt your soda, clumsy man,” he’s laughing as the pulls Jared’s fist out of his jeans and wipes their hands off with some napkins.

“That was so worth it,” Jared says shaking the numbness out of his fingers.

“Your hand wouldn’t be numb if you had let me open my jeans first,” Jensen laughs.

“I just wanted you so much, it was all worth it for this, I miss you.”

“You’ve got me,” he says kissing Jared’s forehead before resuming his meal. “Now eat, eggplant is terrible cold.”

 

Therapy is every day now, Misha comes and limbers Jared up first and then takes him down to the therapy room where he works with him some more. They’ve become friendly sharing their life stories with each other as they stretch out before the grueling work outs. Jared feels safe with him, can talk to him and tells him about his life with Jensen, how much he loves him and the fact that they live an open marriage on Jensen’s end. It’s good mental therapy for him and helps with his healing for the physical part too. He’s much stronger and can now stand with the aid of crutches and even take one or two steps. It’s taken three days to get him to this point but Misha is happy with his progress.

Jensen comes for his Saturday visit but Jared is in therapy so he goes down to the physical therapy room. He sees Jared and Misha working, stands in the doorway and watches for a bit. He notices how Misha seems to lean into Jared a little too much for his taste, he caresses his back and pats him on the behind, a lot. He can feel the jealousy building, his gut is boiling from it but he takes a deep breath and goes inside. “Hey boys,” he says cheerfully. Jared looks up and smiles at him.

“You get to see me walk today,” he excited to show Jensen his actual progress. “Come on Misha let’s walk a few steps to show Jen how well I’m doing,” he waits for Misha to get a hold of the gate belt to assist him with standing up. He stands up, adjusts his crutch and takes three steps towards Jensen while Misha holds him steady at the hips. “I’m on my way Jen,” he crows triumphantly.

“You certainly are,” he can’t take his eyes off of Misha’s hands.

It’s a few more days and Jared is doing much better, the doctors are talking about sending him to the rehab hospital early. Jared doesn’t want to go; he wants Misha to finish out his therapy because he works so well with him.

“I don’t want to go Jen, I like working with Misha besides we are becoming friends. I can talk to him and he understands.”

“But if the doctors want to send you, there isn’t anything we can do about it,” he’s lying simply because he wants Jared away from Misha.

  
**  
<>   
**   


Jared’s depressed when Misha comes in. “I hear you’re doing so well they want to send you to the rehab hospital,” he’s smiling.

“Oh so you want to get rid of me too,” he won’t look at Misha.

“Come on Jay it’s a good thing,” he sits on the edge of the bed to console him. “It’s normal to feel a bond with your first therapist but eventually you move on and that’s a good thing.”

Jensen comes up from the cafeteria with cheesecake and coffee, he sees Misha on the bed talking to Jared and doesn’t go inside, he stands out in the hall watching.

“I want you, not someone else,” he’s sulking like a little kid.

“Look Jay, you need things that the rehab has that I can’t give you here,” he puts his hand on Jared’s knee.

Jensen’s eyes get huge seeing where Misha puts his hand. He can’t hear exactly what they’re saying but he doesn’t like the way it looks. His blood pressure is rising.

“I know but,” he’s acting like a child.

“I’ll come see you, maybe even supervise your therapy at first,” he puts the other hand on Jared’s shoulder.

Jensen is boiling at this point, his jaw is clenched and he is giving Misha the death stare.

“You can do that?” Jared perks up.

“Absolutely,” he rubs Jared’s leg in a consoling manner.

Jensen is over the top with jealous anger.

“Maybe rehab won’t be so bad,” he has a huge smile.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow for your therapy,” Misha says getting up.

“Tomorrow,” Jared says with an even bigger smile.

Jensen steps back like he’s just walking to the doorway of the room when Misha walks out.

“Hey Jensen,” Misha says with a cheerful voice.

“Can we talk for a minute,” he sets the tray on a table in the hallway.

“Sure what about,” Misha is unaware there is a problem.

“I notice you are a bit, how should I put this, handsy, with Jared,” he hones in on the subject immediately.

“Handsy,” he’s not exactly sure where this is going.

“Yeah, touching him all over, caressing him and patting his butt,” Jensen’s eyes narrow.

“I can’t help touching Jared, I am doing physical therapy on him, I need to be touching him,” he is confused as to why this is a problem.

“Look, I’ll say this once, Jared is **my** husband, you don’t need to touch his butt or knee or any other inappropriate place on his body unless it is for your job, just do your thing, help him to walk again and stop crushing on a married man,” he’s gone absolutely territorial on Misha.

Misha shakes his head in disbelief. “I am not exactly sure what you think is going on with us but assure you, it’s all a legitimate patient, therapist interaction. You couldn’t be more wrong with what you’re imagining,” he is trying to assure Jensen that he’s not after Jared in a romantic way.

“I have eyes, I see what’s going on,” his words are full of rage and jealousy.

“ I know you are seeing what you want to see and maybe your own guilt has something to do with it but I assure you that things are purely business with Jared. I have no other interest in him than getting him on his feet again,” Misha is trying to be reassuring while staving off Jensen’s anger.

“Of course not, you are all Mr. Innocent,” his words are sarcastic. “Jared told me how you like to date your patients,” Jensen hits below the belt.

“Um,” Misha is shocked by that statement, he’s not sure what has been said about him and his ex-partner but Jensen has it all wrong. “That was one patient years ago and it was mutual. I don’t think you realize how much Jared loves you. He told me your situation, this is your insecurity and guilt seeing things that are not there,” he turns and starts to walk away.

“You don’t know anything about Jared and my relationship,” Jensen huffs back at him.

“Maybe you should stay home with your husband and not feel the need to have an open marriage, you’re not going to find a more loyal husband than Jared,” Misha steps on to the elevator and leaves.

Jensen is fuming. _Who does he think he is, he doesn’t know anything about how much I love Jared._ he thinks before picking up the tray. He composes himself before going into the room to eat with Jared.

He doesn’t mention anything to Jared about the conversation with Misha but Jared can tell that he’s upset about something.

“Are you alright?” he touches his shoulder for comfort.

“Yeah fine why?” he smiles wide.

“You seem, I don’t know, upset,” he’s picking at his cheesecake.

“Nah, just preoccupied with work I guess. This is yummy,” he puts a spoonful of cheesecake in his mouth and puffs out his cheeks while he chews.

Jared lets it drop, he tells him about the rehab situation and how he doesn’t want to leave Misha but he’s already promised to oversee his therapy regiment at the rehab.

Just another reason to stay close, Jensen thinks. “Well maybe the rehab will be better with better equipment.”

“Yeah maybe,” he’s not happy about it but he knows he has to resign to it.

 

The next day in therapy Misha doesn’t want to upset Jared but he thinks he should know about Jensen’s animosity towards him and maybe overseeing his rehab outside of the hospital isn’t such a good idea for them.

“I guess Jensen told you about our little misunderstanding yesterday,” he’s kind of fishing because he doesn’t think he did.

“Misunderstanding about what,” he’s a little confused.

“Maybe I shouldn’t say anything,” he continues to stretch Jared out.

“Tell me, now I have to know.”

“Jensen thinks I am attracted to you and am making moves on you instead of doing my job,’ He condenses it for easier telling.

Jared starts to laugh. “Oh really,” he’s chuckling even harder now.

“I told him I am not but he didn’t seem to believe me,” he’s laughing too since Jared’s amusement is infectious.

“I’ll set him straight, don’t worry,” he narrows his eyes.

“I don’t want to start a fight between you,” he’s concerned he might have done the wrong thing by telling Jared.

“Oh no fight, I’ll just let him know that we are not an item in way shape or form, that’s all.”

When Jensen comes in that evening Jared has a speech already prepared.

“Hey Jay,” he pecks Jared on lips.

“Jensen,” he says sternly.

“What’s wrong,” Jensen furrows his brow. “Did I forget to bring something?”

“No, I think we need to have a little chat about Misha and your jealousy issues with him,” he’d fold his arms for effect if one wasn’t in a sling and cast.

“He told you about the hallway didn’t he? That little bastard,” he mumbles under his breath.

“He gave me the gist of it, like you think he’s making the moves on me with his hands when he’s only working to make me well.”

“Hey I saw how he was touching you when he wasn’t working with you,” Jensen defends his actions.

“What does it matter how he touches me, we have an open marriage, at your request.”

This statement hits Jensen in the gut. “But you are my husband.”

“And you are mine but I don’t go out and find the men you sleep with and tell them to leave you alone. This is physical therapy, hands touch me, his hands massage me and it is all innocent.”

Jensen doesn’t know how to respond to that so he doesn’t, he just hangs his head.

“I have never once gone out on you, never once dated anyone else since we’ve been married. I am your husband and I don’t need anyone else so when you go accusing Misha of coming on to me, having the hots for me and trying to steal me away from you, you are telling me that you don’t trust me to come home to you. You don’t think I am serious about us but I have to stand by and see you dating other men. I’ve stood by for years and been your sidelines guy,” he has tears in his eyes as he pours his heart out. “I’ve loved you forever Jensen, way before we got married, way before the pact. I waited 8 years to be with you as your husband, to spend my life with only you and even when that happened I still have to be your sidelines guy, you’re husband with benefits.”

“Do you think I don’t love you Jay, do you think I don’t want to be with you because that is so far from the truth. I know I played the field, there weren’t many nights I spent alone but there is one person in all these years that I always came back to and not because of any convenience, not because of any friends with benefits but because I love you. You are the only stable thing in my life; you are the one person in this whole world that makes me feel completely loved. I love you Jared Tristan Padalecki-Ackles and if I didn’t, I would have laughed at you for remembering the pact. Trust me, I never forgot it either,” tears are streaming down his face. He takes Jared’s hand and holds it close to his heart. “My heart beats for you and I don’t want anyone else.”

Jared is dumbfounded. He never realized that Jensen loved him so much. “Why did you want an open marriage then,” he needs to know.

“I was scared, I thought I needed the other men to make me whole, that I couldn’t give myself to just one person but you know what changed my life, this last guy, Matt. I couldn’t think of anyone but you when I was with him. I only saw your face, heard your voice and I couldn’t connect with him. Usually that wouldn’t have mattered but Jared, it did, I wanted only you and so I came home to you.”

Jared’s tears are streaming down his face. “Did you tell him that?”

“Yes I did, I told him I only wanted you in my life.” He thinks about the accident, he decides to tell Jared the whole truth and put his cards on the table in hopes of being completely forgiven for his stupidity. “I have to tell you that when you were hit I was with him at a hotel, I didn’t know about the accident until I was getting ready to leave,” he hangs his head in shame as he speaks the words.

“I figured you were with someone when I got your text. It kind of broke my heart and I think that is why I wasn’t paying attention but it’s not your fault Jen, I am the one who agreed to this way of life and I am the one who suffered the consequences of a situation I really didn’t want. It’s okay, it was all a mistake and we both are to blame. We can’t make a fresh start on old lies,” he reaches out for Jensen and pulls him close.

“Oh Jared,” he’s sobbing. “I love you so much. I don’t need anyone else ever, you are my one true love, my soul mate forever,” he kisses him softly on the lips tasting their salty tears.

“I have always loved you and want to spend the rest of my life with only you,” Jared’s hands hold Jensen close to him.

Things are better between them, Jensen apologizes to Misha for his own jealousy issues and instead of rehab Jensen takes Jared home where Misha is his private physical therapist.

When Jared heals completely Jensen books them a long four week cruise so they can celebrate and get away. He gives the tickets to Jared during their lunch date when he goes back to work.

“I have something for you,” he hands Jared an envelope.

“What’s this,” he opens it and takes out the tickets. “Oh My God, Jen, a cruise, what’s the occasion?” he reads the tickets more closely.

“Let’s call it our honeymoon,” he takes Jared’s hand and squeezes it.

“What, the quickie wedding in Vegas wasn’t enough for you,” he laughs.

“Lets just say my priorities are a little less askew these days,” he leans over the table and kisses Jared.

 

**The End**

 


End file.
